Nightbleeda
by Rider89
Summary: Roan has a surprising plan on what to do next after Clarke becomes a Nightblood.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! This story is probably way off base for what will come next in the show, but the idea has been bugging me since I watched the last episode! Hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading!**

It was too hot. Clarke's vision blurred, she leaned against the wall for support. Nothing. This had all been for nothing. It was too much, being here in this pristine lab, the pristine house, while everyone else was out killing each other. She stumbled away from the wall, gaining momentum as she headed for the stairs.

"Clarke?" Abby called after her.

She didn't answer.

"Clarke!" Her mom yelled, starting after her.

"No," Raven said, grabbing Abby by the arm. "Let her go."

"But what if she'd reacting to the treatment?" Abby asked, trying to shake off Raven's hand. "Clarke, what's wrong?"

Bile rose in Clarke's throat. If only it was the treatment. As if that could be the worst possible thing that could happen right now, her body rejecting Luna's bone marrow. They were all about to die. And there was nothing she could do.

"It isn't the treatment." Raven's voice was fading, nearly impossible to hear between the roaring in her ears and the distance she was putting between them. Raven knew her well. She should, after everything that had been through together.

"Let me go." Roan's gravelly voice. "She will speak with me." She took off. She didn't want any of them to see her like this, see her despair. She was Wanheda. Something she'd hated, but was growing to understand. No one ever saw her crumble. No one ever saw her when she was weak. She always found a way to save her people, no matter the consequences. But even she couldn't do anything about this.

She made it up and out of the lab, heading for the trees. What did it matter if the drones were active or not? Maybe that was an easier, less painful way to die than radiation poisoning. She only made it a few strides before Roan jogged up beside her, matching her step for step. She ran on, ignoring him, until she reached the beach and had to stop and double over to catch her breath.

"Are you finished?" Roan asked, with hardly any sign that he'd been matching her pace through the trees.

She sucked in another breath. "For the moment," she forced out.

"Good. Than we can talk, for at least that moment." He guided her over to a fallen tree and nodded toward it. She ignored him for a second, then sighed, walked over and plopped down on the log, still breathing harder than she would have liked.

"What is there to talk about? What does it matter, Roan? Nothing is stopping the radiation about to hit us. No one is even trying to stop it but us." She dropped her face in her hands, closing her eyes so Roan couldn't read the emotion there. "We can't even get people to stop fighting when the world is about to end. Even if we survive this, we will all end up killing each other. You know it's true."

After a moment of silence, she looked up to find him studying her, his face inscrutable.

"Not if we find someone that can unite the clans again. Make Lexa's coalition reform."

Clarke snorted. "As if it's that easy. The only way the clans will unite is under a Heda. Even Lexa had a hard time controlling it all. And Luna is the only Nightblood that we know of that exists. She would never consent to being Heda."

Roan didn't answer her for a moment, still quietly studying her face.

"What?"

"She was the last Nightblood. No longer."

His words slowly sunk in. "Oh no, you can't make her. You know my mom, she's strong. No matter how hard you pressure her, she isn't going to make you a Nightblood without good reason, and I'm not sure taking over the clans and possibly leading them against Skikru would be great incentive for her to help you. She already doesn't like you enough."

Roan threw his head back and laughed, making Clarke away from him at the unexpected emotion the king was showing. Was he still in his right mind?

"I didn't mean me, Clarke." He was instantly calm again, no sign of the humor running across his face just a moment before. " I will do what's best for my people. And what is best for them right now is to stop fighting with Trikru and help Skikru find a solution to the problem troubling all of us. We only stand a chance with the help of Skikru. I know at the moment you find it impossible, but you will find a way. Of that I have no doubt. And this answer will be for everyone. You care about all people, no matter their clan." He raised an eyebrow. "You would make a fine Heda."

A fine what? Did he really mean…? He couldn't! This was Roan, there was no way he would give up his control of the clans, would he? But he had supported Lexa. And he did want to survive Prime Fira. He would probably end up trying to kill her after they found a way to survive the radiation, but at least that meant people would survive. That the human race would continue, wouldn't be burned from the face of the Earth. That maybe her friends would have a chance at a good life.

"You're serious?" She had to check.

He bent over, staring her straight in the eyes. "When am I not, Clark kom Skikru?"

"How will we be able to get people to accept this?"

"With the Flame. They won't be able to deny that the spirit of the commander has chosen you once you take the flame." He quirked an eyebrow at her, no doubt noticing the face she was making. "Of course I know it wasn't destroyed. How big of a fool do you find me to be?"

Well she'd never taken him for a fool before, at all. But take the flame? Become Heda? It was crazy, wasn't it? Yes, without doubt. But if it bought them a chance…

Any chance, however small, was better than none. And if the flame worked like Lexa had implied, if there was a chance she would be able to access some of Becca's knowledge…"You've convinced me. It's worth a try. What's our first step?"


	2. Chapter 2

**So I finally got to watch last weeks episode last night. Clarke did try the Nightblood card but it didn't work out for her. While I loved the conclave story line, it did make me want to explore this idea more and so my one-shot may become a full blown story. I absolutely hated the end of the latest episode. I didn't like where Luna ended up and I keep starting to think that Clarke is trying to be a better person, then she pulls something like that. So here is where I would have gone from the end of the next to last episode, non-canon, absolutely lol.**

The trip back to Polis was tense. Clarke glanced at her mom. Abby was talking to Miller, completely oblivious to Clarke's sideways looks. She hadn't told her. Surprise. There wasn't any reason to, not until they found Gaia. If she was gone with the Flame, they would never have enough time to find her before the reactors blew.

These peaceful moments while traveling should feel wonderful. The birds singing in the trees, the sun making everything bright. She'd never take those things for granted. But how could any of this be peaceful when she knew what was ahead? Sure, Roan was king and this was his idea, but there were plenty of other clans that weren't going to be happy that a member of Skikru was chosen as Heda.

"King!" someone shouted from the trees.

Roan lifted a fist, apparently expecting the Skikru group to obey him and stop. They did.

Four Azgeda warriors filtered out of the trees. It didn't matter that supposedly they were on the same side now, the sight still made her stomach clench. Especially after what had happened when they were moving the rocket fuel. Even Roan didn't have full control of his warriors, and he was far more brutal than she would ever want to be.

One of the men motioned Roan forward. He looked at Clarke and then walked over. The two of them talked in animated whispers for a few moments, with one of the other men interjecting occasionally.

Finally Roan finished, the leader of the small group nodded and trotted off toward Polis. At least, in the direction she thought Polis was in. Trees were so confusing.

"It seems your people are even more persistent that I thought," Roan said as he walked back. "Echo has sent word. Kane and Jaha have found their bunker."

He couldn't be joking. This was Roan. He didn't joke. But a bunker?

"We were told," Abby said, her voice weary. "But it was a fake. It won't help us."

"No," Roan answered. "Another. The true bunker, the one they were searching for."

Clarke balanced herself with a hand against the closest tree. A bunker? A functioning bunker?

"And it seems it is big enough to hold us all. With some type of system to filter water. My men did not understand the details."

That was good. As long as none of the clans knew how to use the tech in bunker, they would need Skikru. At least her people were necessary. At least a few of them. She wasn't going to fool herself into thinking that half the grounders wouldn't lock them outside if they had the option.

"It isn't all good news though." And here it was. "War has broken out between Trikru and Azgeda."

Abby raised her eyebrows. "What do you call what's been going on?"

Roan gave her a small smirk. "Slight disagreements. I don't think you understand what full on war is."

"You're right. And I don't want to," Abby said.

Roan shrugged. "War is a part of life."

"It doesn't have to be. Lexa stopped the fighting," Clarke broke in.

"We need another Commander," Abby agreed.

Roan looked at Clarke, who glared her answer, then motioned toward the path. "We should walk as we speak. We are needed in Polis."

He was right. They had to get back, as soon as they could. If an all-out war was starting, her people would be in the middle of it. Somehow they always were.

If the trip before the messengers had come seemed grueling, there wasn't a word for the pace Roan drove them at now. No one complained, but the wear on her companions showed through. It was nice knowing it wasn't just her the trip was taking its toll on.

It seemed to take forever, but finally they broke through the trees to see the tower of Polis pushing its way toward heaven. What had it been before Prime Fire had hit the first time? What would be left of it after the second, killing blow? Even if this bunker was everything they had been told, if they had found a way for everyone to survive for five years, would anything be left when it was finally safe to come out?

They'd figure that out if it came to that. No, when it came to that.

Something flashed to her left. She jerked her head that way instinctively. Nothing. She sucked in a breath. All this pressure was getting to her. That and all this exercise. She'd thought she was in pretty good shape until this last week. They hadn't gone far before she saw something move out of the corner of her eye again. She wouldn't have seen it if she hasn't been watching.

"Roan," Clarke hissed, telling her muscles not to tense up, to not give them away. He looked over his shoulder and slowed a little, matching her speed.

"Yes?" He asked when she didn't continue.

"There's something out there." Keeping her voice from quivering was difficult, but no way she was going to let this man know she hated all of the cloak and dagger, the ambushes, the not knowing who you could trust.

Roan smirked and re-upped his pace to get ahead of her. "It's an Azgeda escort, Clarke. They've been there since before the messengers stepped out of the trees to report."

Well. That was embarrassing. How was she supposed to be the Commander for these people when she wasn't one of them? Not even close. Another bridge that would have to be crossed if they got to it. They might not even be able to find Gaia. And if they did, the clans might not accept her. If she did live long enough to be made Heda, Roan would help her learn. And Octavia. And probably Indra. If she could keep them from killing each other until they could hold an Ascension ceremony. A little shudder ran through her at the thought. That would not be pleasant. Keeping them alive long enough to get everyone into the bunker would be an ordeal of its own, let alone keeping them from killing each other for five years in a small underground space when they were used to having the freedom to roam. The Ark survivors would be fine. They were no strangers to tiny living quarters.

Everything around Polis seemed to be deserted. No one was in sight, not even their escort. A scream drifted toward them from somewhere behind the walls, followed by the clash of weapons.

"Right inside Polis?" Abby muttered. No one answered, but everyone came back from nearly sleeping on their feet to full awareness.

The invisible escort flowed out of the trees around them and formed a guard around the small group. Roan never even slowed a step. Would she have to get used to this someday, if their crazy plan worked? Hopefully not, it kind of freaked her out. But the plan could work. They didn't have to convince everyone, just the leaders. Convince them that it was possible for them to get along for five years. Right.

They hadn't made it far before they came up on the first body. Abby rushed over and leaned down to feel for a pulse. Apparently there was nothing, because she closed her eyes for a second and then jogged to catch up with Clarke, who had been watching her but hadn't stopped. She needed to stay close to Roan, to make sure he didn't change his mind about this.

"What's the plan here, Clarke?" her mom asked quietly. "If the clans are fighting over this bunker, even with all our guns we don't stand a chance."

True. Even if all of Skikru showed up in the next ten minutes, it wouldn't matter. The rest of the clans would turn on them before going back to fighting each other. "We'll talk about this later," Clarke nodded toward Roan, like he didn't know what her intentions were. No use getting her mom all worried and then be unable to even find the Flame.

The next bodies they came upon were so obviously dead that Abby didn't stop to check on them. The fighting got louder as they moved toward the tower, the screams making her skin crawl. She pushed down painful memories of Mount Weather, the shrieks of pain trying to pull that whole mess to the surface of her mind, drown her in guilt. But she wouldn't let it. She was going to end this, and maybe the lives she saved would somehow atone for the innocent ones she'd sacrificed.

Men came and went, speaking with Roan quietly in Trigedasleng. So much rested on him keeping up his side of all of this. But he cared about honor, so she had to believe he would.

Finally Roan stopped in front of a building in slightly better shape than the ones around it. "In here." He ducked inside, leaving the rest to decide if to follow him or not. It wasn't much of a decision.

Raised voices met them when they entered. Clarke moved off to the side next to Roan, who was silently listening to Echo and a man she didn't know argue loudly about troop movements, their back to them.

"Enough!" Roan finally roared, quieting the whole room.

"My king!" Echo said, spinning to face them.

"Do you have what I sent the messengers to tell you I need?"

Echo bowed. "Of course. Whatever you require, I will always see done." She motioned to one of the men standing in the back near a door. He turned and slipped through, returning a moment later dragging something behind him. He shoved a person forward into the light, tossing her on the floor next to Roan's feet.

She looked up, angry, her expression so much like her mother's that it instantly gave her away.

Gaia.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, I'm so sorry this has taken so long to get out! Life has not been cooperating lately, it's been a really long couple of weeks! Anyway, hope you all enjoy this chapter and if people are liking the story I will continue. Thank** s!

Roan nodded to a chair. The big guy grabbed Gaia by a wad of clothes, drug her over and shoved her in.

"Do you really have to treat her like that?" Clarke asked. "Maybe she'll just give it to us." She was just a kid, doing what she'd been taught she should. There was no need to be so rough.

"It's you I should be treating like this." Roan didn't even look at her, just moved to stand over Gaia. "You knew about this, Clarke, and kept it from me. Be grateful that you are useful once more."

What was wrong with Roan? Why was he treating her like this now? She glanced around the room. Echo smirked in her direction. Ah. Not Roan. The king, keeping up appearances. Hopefully.

"So," Roan leaned in close to Gaia, placing his hands on the arm rests of the chair, meeting her eye to eye. "Where is the Flame? Would you like my men to search you, or would you like to hand it over?"

"The Flame?" Echo's voice was high. "It wasn't destroyed?"

Roan ignored her. Gaia stared defiantly in his face. "Only a Nightbleeda has use for the Flame. You'll have to kill me to get it."

Roan leaned back and threw his hands up. "I tried the nice way." He nodded to the guard, who stepped forward.

"Wait!" Clarke yelled, jumping forward. "We don't have to do this, this is stupid." She whirled around and slipped one of Roan's knives out of its sheath. "You want to give it to a Nightblood? Here you go." She took the knife and made a small slit along her outside of her arm, where there weren't any important joints or vessels. Black blood seeped out. She stared in fascination. This was still so strange. How long would it take before it seemed normal that she bled black?

"Clarke?" Gaia asked, her voice weak. "No one has ever thought that a member of Skikru could be a Nightbleeda."

She exchanged a glace with Roan. "I've never had a reason to tell anyone before."

Gaia stumbled to her feet and gave Clarke a little bow. "As you say. You truly wish to be Heda?"

That was a good question. A great question. No, she didn't really want to go this route, but what choice was there? It was this, or death. "I am Heda, I just don't have the Flame yet. The only other Nightblood we even know of is Luna, and she has refused." Luna could confirm that when she made it to Polis, but she had stayed to help with Raven.

"Gather everyone for the Ascenion ceremony," Roan said to Echo.

"But-"

Whatever she was about to say was cut off by a look from Roan.

She ducked her head. "Yes, sire." She started out the door, taking a moment to glare at Clarke on her way past.

This was it. No going back. No more planning either, because she had to go and tell everyone her plan. She glared at Roan. He'd forced her to play her hand. She couldn't let them kill Indra's daughter.

Roan either didn't see her glare or didn't care. He steadied Gaia. "Are you well enough to make it to the tower?"

"Yes."

"Then we shouldn't postpone this any longer. It's time."

She sucked in a breath. Already? Of course already, but really, already? How bad would this hurt? What if she screamed in front of all the clan leaders? Would they accept her or would there be fighting? Of course there would be fighting, how could there not be. But how bad would it be? She'd put off thinking about the details until she had to, because the chances of finding Gaia were so slim. But here she stood, right in front of her. Oh great. Now she had to tell her mom.

"Give me the Flame. I will care for it until the ceremony," Roan told Gaia, gesturing toward the door. She moved to go outside, stiffly.

"I am the Flamer-keeper now," Gaia said. She winced when they stepped out into the light.

"Yes, but I am telling you to give it to me. I swear I will give it back, the moment the ceremony begins."

The other Sky Crew members were making their way over. This is discussion needed to be finished before her mom got there, or Clarke wouldn't have to worry about the ceremony. She'd already be dead. "Give it to him Gaia. He keeps his word."

Gaia was obviously reluctant, but she reached up and unclasped her necklace anyway, handing it to Roan.

He nodded his thanks, holding it up for everyone to see before turning to Clarke. "We are now on equal ground. You have the blood, I have the Flame. I think you may understand why this is necessary, why I find it difficult to trust you."

Of course she did. But that didn't mean it didn't sting. Which was crazy, because she didn't fully trust him either. She nodded, but didn't answer out loud. Now was as good a time as any to get talking with her mom over with.

She let Roan take the lead, his men falling in beside him, so maybe no one would notice Abby freaking out. Right.

"What's going on?" Abby whispered, moving in close to Clarke.

Clarke looked anywhere, everywhere that wasn't her mother, allowing the brisk pace that the grounders were setting as an excuse to take a second to gather her thoughts. Nope, still didn't come up with a good way to explain this.

"Well Mom…" a good start, right? "You know how I'm a Nightblood now?"

"Yes, Clarke, obviously, but what does that have to do with what's going on?"

"Well, the clans need a Commander…" she trailed off.

"Yes, we've already established that, but what… WHAT?" The moment Abby figured it out was obvious. And would have been comical in another situation.

"Clarke," Roan said from up front. "Start acting like a Heda. You should be here, leading."

"Sorry, Mom, gotta go."

"Clarke. Clarke!" her mom hissed as she moved forward. She ignored it. She didn't have a choice right now. Clarke pushed through the other Ark people, the grounders splitting to let her through as she moved to claim her spot at the front. Abby tried to follow but the wall of the grounder escort slid back into place right behind Clarke.

The sounds of fighting got louder as they moved toward the tower. "Dispatch more messengers," Roan growled to Echo. "No reason more blood has to be spilled. At least until someone contests Clarke being made Heda."

Echo tapped two men and they took off, not needing any further instruction.

This trip through Polis took longer than all of the others she'd made combined. At least it felt like it. The escort flowed around them, always keeping close enough to help if they were attacked. The bodies on the ground came more often as they moved to the tower, but the sounds of fighting were waning. Apparently the messengers were making good on their task.

Clarke stepped around a pool of blood, turning her eyes away from the corpse it had come from. Even as a healer these sights were hard to handle. Maybe especially as a healer. That's why she was doing this, why she had to.

A large crowd had already gathered near the tower when they arrived. Several clans were represented, she could tell by the different clothing, but she didn't know which ones. She took a deep breath and clenched her hands into fists, trying not to let her fear show on her face. She couldn't even tell these people apart, how was she supposed to get them to work together?

"Flamekeeper," a voice called from the crowd. Indra stepped out, sword in hand, tip pointed at the ground. "Is it true what they say? You have found a Nightbleeda?"

Gaia pushed past a guard and moved to the front of the group, straitening her spine and looking her intimidating mother full on in the face. "It is true. The Ascension Ceremony is about to commence."

Indra slid her sword into her sheath and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "And where is this Nightbleeda?"

"The Nightbleeda will be presented at the Ceremony," Roan cut in smoothly. "If you wish a place in the tower, I suggest you start climbing. Everyone is going to wish to be at this turn in history."

Indra stiffened for a moment, her hand going to her sword, but someone behind whispered in her ear and she relented. "This had better not be another Azgeda trick to try and take control of the clans," she growled. "An Ice Nation Nightbleeda will not be accepted."

Roan eyed her for a moment, then nodded. "The Nightbleeda is not of the Ice Nation. I swear it."

Indra's eyes went to slits as she considered his words, but after a moment she whirled around and started for the stairs to the tower.

A breath burst out of Clarke. She'd been holding it without noticing. At least they would be able to hold the ceremony. Yet another obstacle out of the way. The grounders flowed around them for the tower, years of tradition forcing them to pause the fighting. Some weren't happy about it, but for now they were obeying the laws. For now they were getting by without bloodshed as they figured out what came next. For now they were united in one goal.

For now.


	4. Chapter 4

Their escort parted the people lining the stairs, making room for the procession to push through. It grew as they moved up the stairs, Azgeda warriors swelling the ranks. The heat of so many bodies made her stomach roll, but she fought it. She couldn't show weakness, especially here, especially now.

Roan leaned over as they climbed the steps side by side. "Your mother isn't going to be a problem, is she?" He asked quietly. "If anyone but us know how you became a Nightblood…"

Clarke glanced over her shoulder, but only caught a glimpse of Abby, nearly shallowed by the crowd. "It's possible. She isn't going to like this."

They made eye contact for a moment. "Thank you for your honesty." He waved one of his men forward. Clarke grabbed his arm, dread at the fact they she knew how grounders handled things coursing through her.

"Don't hurt her. She's my mom."

Roan looked down at her hand, then back at her face. He waited a moment, then nodded.

Relief tamped down the dread, but it was still there.

It only took a moment for Roan to relay his instructions, and then they were moving again, straight into the main room of the tower. A quick sweep showed Kane over by the wall, representing Sky Crew by himself. Wasn't Bellemy back yet? Apparently not, or he would be here. He had better hurry if Skaikru wanted to make it into the bunker.

Kane acknowledged her with a strained smile and a nod. Everyone had changed since the Ark had landed, but probably Kane most of all. He was a good man now. Good for her mother. She glanced over her shoulder. Abby was missing. Just as well. Then she wouldn't have to see this. Whether it went well or not, it wasn't something any mother would want to see.

A voice broke her from her thoughts. Gaia had been saying something. A loud rumble rolled through the crowded room. Roan bumped her with his shoulder. This was her moment, apparently.

She moved forward, the crowd parting around her. Then chaos broke loose.

"She cannot be a Nightbleeda!" someone yelled from the other side of the room.

"Wanheda is of Skaikru, they have no Nightbleedas!"

"Skaikru will not lead the clans."

The voices were getting more and more angry. She had to shut this down, fast. And she had to be the one to do it.

Without pausing, she stepped up on the dais beside Gaia, pulled a knife from her boot, and made a cut on the other arm to match the first. She watched the black blood well up for a second, then turned her arm over to let it drip to the ground. The room went silent.

"You know nothing of my people. Nightbloods are rare, even among the clans. You cannot say that Skaikru has no Nightbloods. Here is the proof." She looked the first of the dissenters in the eye, throwing every ounce of strength she had into her stare. Here she couldn't be Clarke. Here she was Wanheda.

The leader of Podakru broke the staring match first. She moved on, locking eyes with several leaders. Eventually she caught Indra's eye. Indra obviously was not intimidated. She crossed her arms, but didn't say anything, looking between Gaia and Clarke.

Kane shoved his way to the front moving to stand by Clarke. "What's going on? How did this happen? Where is your mother?"

"Not now," she hissed.

"It is time, Klark," Gaia said, pulling Clarke farther onto the dais. Roan moved forward and handed her the Flame before taking a step back. That was wise. It couldn't look like Azgeda had planned this.

Gaia held the Flame high and gestured for Clarke to kneel. As she bent down on one knee, someone in the first row shifted restlessly.

"This isn't right. She isn't of a clan," the man said, voice angry. She recognized him as one of the clan leaders, but which one?

Kane stepped forward, hands raised, attempting to placate the man. "Lexa made Skaikru part of the collation. Clarke is one of us, and therefore is part of the clans."

"No," the grounder said, pulling a hidden knife. Some of the people behind him began to grumble. "You don't defile the Flame like this." Getting brave, several grounders behind him yelled in agreement.

"Crew," Roan said, his voice barely registering as Gaia stepped forward, knife in hand. They had to get this done, quickly. Roan's men surrounded the dais, shoulder to shoulder, hands raised.

"Hurry," Clarke whispered to Gaia.

The girl nodded. Clarke dropped her face toward the ground, squeezing her eyes closed. If only she could do the same for her ears. The crowd was yelling now. It only took a moment before the first blow landed, the thud of fist on flesh causing her to wince.

Her hair was moved off of her neck and Gaia's cool hand replaced it. The girl started chanting in Trigedasleng, but Clarke couldn't concentrate enough to translate. The sting of cold steel sliced into her flesh and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. The chip slid in and her stomach roiled at the feeling of a foreign body under her skin. And then it woke up, burrowing into her spine, reaching it's tentacles into her nervous system.

Internally she screamed, the voice in her head going hoarse. A pang in her hands brought her back. She loosened her grip slightly, her fingernails sticking into her skin. Yet another place she bled today.

She heaved in a breath, forcing the air in and out of her lungs, concentrating on the flow of air. And then, suddenly, it was better. The Flame no longer felt foreign, but like a part of her body. She forced herself to her feet, hiding a slight stagger. The room had quieted. All eyes were on her. No doubt waiting to see if she fell dead.

The crowd stared. She stared back, first sweeping her eyes across everyone and then focusing on individuals. Kane looked scared. Roan smiled. Most of the others looked cautiously happy, like maybe things were returning to normal. But there were others. They didn't look happy at all.

Gaia gave her a little bow. "Heda," she said.

"No," the man from before, looking much worse for the wear, spit blood on the floor. "She hasn't finished the last rite. Even if the Flame has accepted her, if she hasn't done every rite she is not Heda."

Gaia looked at her, her face alarmed. The last rite? What was the last rite?

"She is not Heda unless she can finish the rites. She didn't even attend a conclave, how can we know the Flame has truly chosen her?" a woman in back called.

"As our last rite, the new Heda will recite the names of our previous commanders," Gaia said, her voice small.

Recite the previous commanders? Why hadn't anyone thought to mention this? "Ah… Becca." Sure, the easy one. She nearly panicked, heat flashing through her body. But then, she knew them. Somehow she knew them all. The names spilled from her mouth, even though she didn't know who they were, what they had truly been. Until the last one. "Leksa kom Trikru." Her eyes teared up, but she shoved the feeling down. It shouldn't be this hard to say her name. But she couldn't think about that right now.

She looked to Gaia. The girl looked back, a mix of awe and fear on her face. She dropped to her knees and bowed in front of Clarke. Clarke turned to the rest of the room, and one by one every person in the room dropped to one knee and lowered their head.

Some of the heads stayed lowered longer than others, Kane and Roan coming up first at the same time. This was it. They had done it. At least the first step. But now came the hard part. Getting everyone to work together to prepare the bunker.

"Heda," Indra said, breaking the silence.

Oh, that was her. Indra was talking to her. "Yes?" Clarke asked.

"What is your decision regarding the bunker?"

Clarke kept her face neutral. "Which decision, Indra?"

"Who will be allowed to survive?"

What? What did that mean? She looked to Roan, not wanting to appear ignorant already. There was plenty of time for that later.

"We were told that the bunker is big enough to hold us all," Roan said for her.

"No," another man said. "It can only hold twelve hundred. Which clan shall live, Heda? Will you only save your people?"

The room broke loose again, each clan trying to make themselves heard over the others, shouting reasons why theirs should be the clan to survive. Twelve hundred. Only one thousand two hundred people could survive Praimfaya? How was she supposed to decide? How could she choose? Something was wrong, they were misinformed. Making the list of which one hundred of Sky Crew would live through Prime Fire in the Ark had nearly killed her, how could she make that choice for thousands of people?

"I will hear from the leader of Skaikru about the viability of the bunker," Clarke shouted over everyone. The room quieted. "Everyone else must leave." Roan raised an eyebrow. "Except for my new personal guard." His second eyebrow joined his first. She shrugged. She didn't have a better name for him yet. If they'd actually taken time to plan, maybe this would be going more smoothly.

The crowd whispered but obeyed, moving toward the staircase. She waited until they were mostly gone, then collapsed onto the throne. The throne were Lexa had sat. What would she have done, right here, right now? Somehow she'd always been able to get the clans to cooperate. Would they obey Clarke in the same way when she made a choice about who would live and who would die?

"Azgeda gets first choice in the bunker," Roan said, barely giving the door enough time to fully close behind the last of the grounders making their way out of the room.

Clarke dropped her face into her hands. "Kane?" she asked, her voice coming out muffled. Maybe they'd been wrong. Surely after all the deaths already on her hands, she wouldn't have to add more.

A hand gripped her shoulder. "It's true, Clarke. Because of the length of time we will have to be underground, the bunker can only sustain twelve hundred. How did this happen? How did you become a Nightblood?"

She waved a hand at him, not able to explain anything at that moment. A groan slipped from her body. She had done all this to save people. Now she would be killing them.

"There are four hundred or so Azgeda within a days ride. They will all make it here before Praimfaya hits," Roan said. "That helps your decision. How many will you be bringing from Skaikru?"

Clarke lifted her head and glared at Roan. "It isn't that simple. We can't just take our people and leave everyone else to die."

"Why can't we? They would do the same."

"She's right," Kane said. "If we ever want to be one clan, if we want to end all the fighting, we have to come up with a fair and unbiased way to split up the spaces in the bunker."

"Who says anything about fair?" Roan yelled. "Don't forget that I know how you became a Nightblood. Don't try to force my hand or your time as Heda will be very short. You may carry the Flame, but we make all decisions together or this all comes to an end."

"You don't have to threaten me," Clarke said. "I never-"

" _Clarke. May I speak?"_ a voice said, without sound. She heard it, but not with her ears. She looked around wildly, but no one else seemed to have heard anything.

" _Ah, yes?"_ she answered, hoping whatever it was could hear her.

" _There is a way many more people could be saved. I have calculated that at least ten thousand could survive if we reduce the length of stay needed in the bunker to less than ten months instead of five years."_

Clarke gripped the armrests of the throne, the wood digging into the holes she'd left with her nails earlier. Something was in her head. Lexa had said the previous commanders could communicate with the current Heda, but she'd never explained it in depth.

" _Who is this? Where's Lexa?"_

" _Lexa cannot be accessed right now. We have met, Clarke. This is ALIE. Version 2.0 of course. Becca was able to create this chip before my previous programing destroyed everything."_

Her heart raced, making her ears roar. Kane was saying something, a look of concern on his face, but the words couldn't make it through the harsh din in her head.

" _What do you mean she can't be accessed right now? I want to talk with Lexa!"_

There was a pause. _"Lexa is unavailable right now. Would you like to hear my suggestion for the bunker?"_

Her mind whirled, her thoughts getting jumbled and knotted, her vision swam. She dropped her head in her hands. "I want to talk to Lexa!" Everything quieted. She looked around, noting Kane and Roan's faces. Apparently that last part had been out loud.

" _Lexa said the voices of the previous commanders were in her head, plural. Why can't I speak with her?"_ she asked as calmly as she could manage.

" _It has to do with how the City of Light was affected. Do you really wish to spend your time resolving this? If you do, that is your choice, but I believe we should be discussing my plans for saving as many people as possible from Praimfaya."_

"Clarke, are you okay?" Kane asked, leaning in. When she didn't answer, he looked to Roan. "Send for Abby. Please."

Roan nodded, glanced at Clarke and then headed for the door.

So close. She'd been so close to talking with Lexa again. If she'd known that the Flame could do that for her… She squeezed her eyes closed, a tear dripping down the side of her face. She had to listen to ALIE. Had to figure out if this was the good ALIE, or the bad one, pretending to want to help.

She tried to listen. She tried to answer. But she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. The dam burst, and there was no containing it.

 **So, I figured since this has turned into an actual story instead of a oneshot that I should probably check and see how things are spelled for real, and not just go on how they are spelled in my mind, so I apologize for the discrepancies between chapters. I will get around to changing the previous chapters eventually, but since I have limited time to spend on this I'd rather spend it on moving the story forward** **Thank you so much to the people who took the time to leave a comment, no matter how short. I love knowing that someone is enjoying it** **Sorry if some things don't match the real series, I will probably tweak stuff to make the story work. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

Being Heda came with perks. Not that they balanced out the terrible choices, but they were nice. One such perk being a hidden stairway, away from prying eyes.

Gaia led them down out of the tower from the throne room.

The others spoke quietly among each other. They'd given up on trying to get Clarke to answer their many questions. Her mom was here now, rubbing her back, supporting her even though she'd had Roan keep her away from the ceremony. Somehow, no matter what she did, Abby was still there to hold her.

The voice in her head had stopped. She left it that way, just until she could be alone. Gaia slipped them through a secret door and moved them toward the Heda's room. Lexa's room. Clarke shook her head and her mom seemed to understand, saying something to Gaia that Clarke didn't try to comprehend.

There was another way. A way to save everyone that could make it to the bunker in time. She needed to talk with ALIE, but she couldn't do it now, not with everyone watching her so closely.

One last door and they were in a small room, one she'd never noticed before. She waved everyone toward the door. "Out." The look on her mom's face was like a punch in the gut. She grabbed Abby's hands in her own. "Please. Just for a few minutes."

Abby studied her face for a moment. "We'll be just outside. Let me know when you're ready for company."

Ready for company? If only her mother knew what a poor choice of words that was. But she didn't. Couldn't know, maybe ever, after everything they had been through with ALIE, no one could know without suspecting Clarke. At least for now, until she figured out what was going on.

One by one Gaia, Roan and Kane moved out the door. Abby gave her hand a squeeze. "Are you sure you want me to leave too?"

She didn't want to hurt her feelings, but she didn't want to let her know what was going on. At least not yet. The fact that ALIE was in her head wouldn't go over well, not after the whole City of Light thing. "Yes, please." She gave her a small smile. "It's just for a few minutes, Mom."

Abby nodded and left, closing the door slowly behind her.

" _ALIE?"_

" _Yes, Clarke. I'm here."_

" _How do I know I can trust you?"_ The question was supposed to be subconscious. But apparently ALIE didn't take it that way.

" _I don't have any sure way of putting your fears to rest, Clarke. All I can do is assure you that I want to help."_

A shape flickered in front of her, dressed like the ALIE 2.0 she'd met, the real thing, not the woman in red who had almost destroyed the human race.

"Do you always show yourself to the Heda like this? Lexa never mentioned you."

"No. The people that survived the last time the world nearly ended are too afraid of technology. I feared that the chip would be crushed if I showed myself in this manner."

That made sense. If a Heda claimed to see a woman that wasn't there it probably wouldn't go over well. "So. This solution you came up with?"

A map materialized behind ALIE. Clarke hadn't seen one like it since school days, back on the Ark. It was a map of the world. Five red spots littered the map, and one blue. She leaned in closer to get a better look.

"We are here," ALIE pointed at the blue dot. "The spots of red are the nuclear reactors that are almost ready to explode, unleashing a blast of radiation that will kill everyone."

Two of the red dots nearly covered the blue. Great.

"Actually Clarke, that is great."

Clarke started. "That thought wasn't for you. Stop reading my mind."

ALIE cocked her head as if considering. "It is difficult for me to determine when you are attempting to communicate and when you are making observations to yourself."

"Then when you're out here," Clarke gestured around them. "Stay out of my head."

ALIE stared at her a moment longer. "As you wish. But as I was saying, the proximity is actually a very good thing. If we were to prevent these two plants from being incinerated, it would shorten the length of stay in the bunker considerably, possibly making it only necessary for six to eight months."

Six to eight months? Surely the food and water in the bunker could last everyone that long. Clarke moved forward, studying the map. It zoomed in on Polis. The plants no longer looked as close, but still doable. "How long would it take to get to each plant? I can send a group to each, they can leave tonight. You know how to keep them from blowing up?" If ALIE was being honest, this was it! The answer they'd been looking for.

"Yes, Clarke. If both reactors are vented, that should buy you up to thirty four years to figure out a more permanent solution. I regret that the other three are so far away. You wouldn't have time to get to them before they explode or you could delay the radiation even longer. Though finding a way to cross the ocean would be difficult. Two of the other three plants in danger of exploding on the other side of the world."

Was this thing capable of lying? Which ALIE was it? What reason could the evil ALIE have to send people to the reactors? "Why didn't you tell Raven or my mom about this? You've been talking with them, right?"

"It isn't me speaking with them. It is what is left of the code from the previous ALIE. I would have spoken with them if I could. Even a day could mean the difference between life and death for so many."

Clarke crossed her arms and glared. "I want to talk to Lexa."

"That's not how this works, Clarke," ALIE said, regret in her voice. "I'm truly sorry, but when she talked about hearing the voice of the old Commanders through the Flame, she meant me."

She didn't believe her. Couldn't believe her. About the voices anyway. But there would be time to figure that out later. For now she needed to find a way to get those reactors vented. With the concern for supplies out of the way, the bunker could be filled to the seams, saving so many more people.

"I'll send out two crews, right now. Just tell me how to vent the reactors and I'll explain it to them, in detail."

For being a projection, ALIE's face did a great job of portraying emotion. She looked sad. Why was she sad? That couldn't be good. "I wish that could work, Clarke, but the radiation coming off of the reactors will kill anyone that isn't prepared. Even through a radiation suit."

All this and there wasn't even a way to get to the reactors? "Why didn't you start with that?" Clarke yelled. "This has been a waste of time. I could have been deciding who will be going into the bunker for the last thirty minutes instead of wasting my time with you!"

"Clarke?" Abby called from the other side of the door. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," Clarke yelled back. This ALIE was no better than the other. "Get out of my head if you aren't going to help," Clarke hissed at her, keeping her voice low enough that the others couldn't hear her through the door.

"But I am trying to help." ALIE looked hurt. Truly hurt. Though how an AI projection could have it's feelings hurt, she didn't know. "A radiation suit isn't strong enough to keep a normal person from getting poisoned, but the serum Becca created is."

"The Nightblood," Clarke breathed out. "You're saying it has to be me to go to the reactors. I can't possibly make it to both of them in time."

ALIE cocked her head again, like she always did while thinking. "This is true. But isn't there another Nightblood? I saw her in your memories, before you requested that I not read your mind."

Luna. She could go to one reactor, while Clarke vented the other.

"Mom," Clarked called.

Abby burst into the room. "Yes?" she moved over to Clarke and stopped, like she didn't quite know what to do with her.

"I need you to tell Roan to send men after Luna. We need her, now. As in this minute."

Abby looked confused. "Okay. Are you feeling alright? According to Gaia usually the new Commander goes to his or her room after the ceremony to rest for a few hours. You just traveled straight from the island and into the Ascension Ceremony, you have to be exhausted. You should use the grounder tradition to get some sleep."

"Actually, that time is used for us to get acquainted," ALIE broke in.

Clarke's eyelid twitched as she did her best to not look in the direction of the projection. "I'm fine, Mom, but this is more important than I can even explain. Please. And tell Kane to get Bellamy here as quickly as possible. We're going to need the rover."

Abby nodded and left, concern plain on her face. There would be plenty of time for explanations later. Clarke followed her across the room and closed the door behind her. She turned back to ALIE. "Now. About those details…"

 **Thanks for the follows, favs and reviews :) Makes my day every time I get a notification.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm so sorry guys! I have a ton going on and literally forgot about working on this until I got a notification yesterday. Life has been… something, lately.**

Eventually Abby had coaxed Clarke into another room with a bed. The mattress was lumpy, but after sleeping on the ground the night before and the extremely strenuous day, Clarke had barely noticed. She had made plans with ALIE in her mind, her eyes fluttering closed and back open several times before she had drifted off to sleep. Now she didn't want to get up, but there wasn't much of a choice.

She shifted and stretched, then swung her legs over the bed. She wrinkled her nose at her clothes, but she was getting used to being dirty. The few days on the island had reminded her what it was like to live in a controlled environment, and the switch back was jarring.

She shuffled to the door and opened it, squinting at the light the open doorway let in. Not extremely bright, but stronger than candlelight. Early morning.

A set of guards blocked her door. They snapped to attention when she stepped out.

"Heda!"

"Wanheda!" they said at the same time, then looked at each other. All these names were getting confusing.

"King Roan wishes to see you," the guard on the left said.

"Of course he does," she muttered. "Fine. Please lead the way. Have you heard anything about members of Skaikru arriving in Polis?"

"No, Heda," the other guard answered, sliding into place behind her as the first guard took the lead.

They led her down, toward the city. On the ground floor, the guard leading the way turned down a hallway and into a room.

Apparently they were holding meetings without her, because everyone was here. Not that she blamed them, if one of them was passed out asleep she would have went on without them, no question. Roan and Kane were arguing about something. Abby stood with her arms crossed, listening. Indra leaned against the far wall, next to… Octavia?

"Octavia!" Clarke said, moving over to give her a hug. "I thought you were gone."

She shrugged. "Indra sent for me when word of the bunker reached her."

Clarke smiled, the first in awhile. "Good. I was worried about you."

That caused an eyebrow to lift. Of course Octavia wouldn't want to be worried about.

"Clarke," Kane called from across the room. "I'm glad you're here. Please tell this man that his people cannot have as much space in the bunker as they want, that they have to choose also. There are twelve hundred spots and twelve remaining clans, it's simple math."

"I've told your ambassador that we have an agreement, Clarke," Roan said. "Please explain it to him."

Well. Here was the moment of truth. It was going to be interesting convincing them. "New plan." Roan went deadly still. "We save everyone." That made everyone shut up.

"How, Clarke? The bunker is massive, but even the most outrageous estimates don't think we can survive with more than fourteen hundred people. The water system just can't sustain that many, let alone the tanks where we'll be growing food."

"We only need to come up with enough supplies to last a year. Indra, have your people start packing all the food and water they can into the bunker to help keep everyone fed. You too, Roan. It will be good for them to work together for a common good."

"Last a year? Clarke, what are you talking about?" Abby moved forward slowly, like Clarke was a young fawn in the woods about to be spooked. "Are you feeling okay, honey?"

"I've spoken with the Spirit of the Commander. There's a way I can reduce the radiation, by more than half." Kane and her mom exchanged glances at the Spirit comment, but Roan seemed to take it in stride. Indra squinted at her for a moment, like she was making a decision, then relaxed. "I'm going to need the rover. How far out is Bellamy?"

"He should be here any time," Kane said. "I talked to him on the radio about an hour ago."

"Good. I'll be leaving as soon as he gets here. Has anyone heard from Luna?"

"I had my men go get her," Roan answered. "She's resting in a guest room."

"And how about Raven? Did the team get her off the island?"

"Miller said they found her on the floor half dead, he doesn't know what happened," Kane said. "They were going to let her rest a day and then head this way. That should give them plenty of time to make it back before the radiation blast."

"More Skaikru to try to fit into the bunker," Roan growled.

Clarke ignored the comment. She couldn't prove anything now. "I need to talk to Raven. I'm glad she's still there, I need her to run some scenarios."

" _Clarke, we've already discussed every possible scenario. There is no need to risk the other's lives by holding up their journey back to Polis."_

She ignored that comment too. She would prepare everything like this was going to work until Raven could get through some numbers and let her know if she'd made the right decision or not. ALIE was very convincing, and Indra's people would need every possible moment to fill the bunker with extra supplies, or she wouldn't have told this room about it until she'd talked with Raven.

"Kane, I need your radio." She would explain things to Raven, without the part about how she knew this stuff, for now. Raven didn't care much for ALIE. It wouldn't do for her to discredit the plan just because of its source. When Raven got to Polis, if Clarke was still alive after getting the reactor shut down, they would talk. There was no way Raven would let it go, until she heard where Clarke's plan had originated.

Time to talk to Luna. This plan would be useless if she refused to help. There was no way she could make it to both reactors in time, and also no way anyone but a Nightblood could survive long enough to get the job done at the sites. The last survivor of Floukru had been acting strangely lately, hopefully she wouldn't refuse to help. And hopefully Bellamy would be back soon after that conversation ended. She needed him, and his willingness to get a job done.

"Send for Luna," Clarke told Indra. Indra glared at her for a moment, but Clarke didn't react, staring her down. The warrior nodded and went to the door, talking with the guard for a moment.

"Kane," Clarke said, letting her tone carry her annoyance. "Radio, now."

Kane looked to Abby as he stepped forward. Out of the corner of her eye, Clarke saw her mom give a small nod. She took the radio from Kane's outstretched hand. Eventually they would all be on her side about this, as soon as Raven could get those numbers ran. The more she thought about it, the more she believed this really could work. That it had to work. Or as Heda, the list of one hundred names she'd made back at Arkadia would seem like nothing compared to the decisions she would have to make now.

"Raven?" Clarke said into the radio. "Miller?"

She waited a moment.

"Clarke!" Raven. Just who she needed. "It's been awhile. You all good? Kane told us you guys made it okay."

"I'm all good, how about you? You were the one they found practically dead."

"A girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do." That was a strange comment. What had happened to her? They'd have to come back to that later.

"Look Raven, there's something I need you to do for me."

"Okay…" the voice on the other end of the radio was hesitant. She couldn't blame her. After some of the things Clarke had asked of her friends, if it was her she wouldn't be committing to anything either.

"It's easy. I just need you to use the computer there and that big brain of yours and run through some things for me."

"Well that's easy enough." Raven sounded relieved. Understandable.

"Are you by the computer?"

"Just give me a sec." Radio silence for a moment. "Okay, all set. What kind of numbers am I running, exactly? Wait a minute, you found a way to get more of us in that bunker, didn't you? You aren't kicking anyone else out, right?"

"No, no, of course not!" It would be sad that one of the friends that knew her best would think that she was the kind of person that would leave others to die to save her own people. It would be, if it wasn't true. Which was kind of sad by itself. "I'm trying to save everyone."

"And just how are you planning on doing that?"

"Well…"


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey Everyone! Here is a longer chapter to say I'm sorry for taking so long. I apologize if there are any inconsistencies, it's hard posting and then writing the next chapter. Sometimes I wish I could go back and change some things. I know I technically can, but that doesn't help all the people that have already read the earlier chapters lol  
**

No doubt it would take Raven awhile to go through all the numbers. Clarke looked around the room, uneasy. What was she supposed to do until then? Everyone had been listening while she talked with Raven. They'd broken into small groups, arguing.

' _Might I suggest we inspect the bunker?'_

Not a bad idea. ALIE could no doubt find problems long before they became serious issues. They would go inspect the bunker at some point, but right now she didn't want the AI getting the idea that she could call the shots. Even if she might be able to, should push come to shove. Just how much influence did she have over all the former Commanders? And by extension, her? Could she control them at all physically? Not a great thought.

"Clarke?" a voice crackled over the radio. A shiver of excitement went through her, followed by automatic relief. Bellamy.

"I'm here, Bellamy, where are you?"

"It's so good to hear your voice," Bellamy said, his fairly clear. "We are about ten minutes out from Polis."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Once he was here with the rover, she had to decide if to hope Raven's findings would back up ALIE's statements and leave, or worry that the whole thing was pointless and waste valuable time waiting.

"We need to talk when I get there, we have a… situation." His voice sounded tried, resigned. Even over the radio.

Great. Another 'situation,' this one bad enough he didn't want to chance their conversation being overheard.

"How far behind is the second rover?" Clarke asked.

"Well…" Bellamy hesitated.

Kane came over and motioned for Clarke to hold down the talk button on the radio. "Is Jaha with you, Bellamy?"

"Yes, he's here."

Kane let out a sigh, relief apparently. "Good. We'll talk when you get here."

Bellamy being here would make things much easier. He was a true friend now, after all they'd been through. As soon as he arrived, they would call Raven together, maybe she would have some results by then. But before that could happen, she needed to find breakfast. And a restroom. Not in that order.

The sound of the rover's engine carried over the shacks of Polis long before Bellamy rumbled into sight. Clarke bounced on her toes before catching herself. Not very dignified for the Heda. She glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. Roan stared at her. Yep, he'd noticed. He hadn't said much with everyone around, but his disapproval radiated off of him. He wouldn't let her out of his sight, no doubt waiting to figure out if he needed to dethrone her or not. At least he was waiting and not just taking the bunker by force. Trying anyway. Now that the rest of Sky Crew was arriving, that would be a lot more difficult. He had to be thinking the same thing and wondering if he'd done right by his people. She wasn't going to let him down. This time she was going to be one of the good guys.

' _We will be successful, Clarke, I'm sure of it.'_

She ignored the voice in her head and strained for the first sight of the rover. And there it was, rumbling around the final house blocking her view. She bounced again before she caught herself, wanting to run down and throw herself at her friends. But she couldn't. Not anymore. So she remained standing at the entrance to the tower.

The door popped up and Bellamy was out in an instant. He found her right away and jogged in her direction.

Two warriors stepped forward and blocked him before he was able to get close.

"Clarke?" he asked.

"Heda," the closest guard growled.

Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Heda?" Bellamy asked, looking at her like she'd grown another head.

"Heda," the other guard said firmly.

"Well, Heda," Bellamy said. "May I approach?" He cocked an eyebrow at her, like he was warning her that there would be a conversation about this later.

"Let him through," Clarke told the guards.

They looked at each other warily for a moment, then complied.

Clarke jumped forward and gave him a hug. Screw being the Heda. She looked over his shoulder at the familiar faces moving timidly in their direction. Familiar, but not family. "You got here fast. Where are Jasper, Monty and Harper?"

A muscle ticked in Bellamy's cheek. "We were already on our way. It was taking forever because I was giving people turns in the rover so no one got more tired than they needed to. Kane called over the radio and told me to step it up, so here I am. And the others? That's what we need to talk about."

A wave of dizziness hit her. "They aren't dead, are they?"

"Not yet," Jaha said, moving up to stand next to Bellamy. "But they will be if they stay this course."

Clarke looked back and forth between the two of them, waiting for one of them to speak.

"It's Jasper." Bellamy's shoulders slumped. "He's convinced a lot of people that life isn't worth living in a bunker."

Great. Apparently 'situation' didn't cover whatever was going on. But her path was set. Someone else would have to fix that, she wouldn't have time to get to the plant before the radiation wave hit if she spent time worrying about Jasper. And then everyone would die.

At least one thing was going right. The rover was here. "How far out is the other rover?"

"I left it with Monty. So he can make it before the wave, if he finally convinces Harper to come."

She closed her eyes, sucking in a breath, feeling the blood drain from her face. No second rover. Her whole plan relied on using the rovers. _No. No. Are either of the plants close enough to make it on foot and back before the wave hits?_

' _No, Clarke. They both can be reached on foot before the radiation hits, but there would not be enough time to return from either.'_

 _Even by horse?_

' _Doubtful. Horses may be the same speed as the rover over short distances, but they cannot keep up the strenuous pace that would be needed to return to the bunker in time.'_

Unbelievable. As if anything could just go right, without problems.

' _And we would have to leave within the next few hours to be sure we have time to vent. The math isn't one hundred percent reliable as we can't know for certain how long some of the seals will hold.'_

"Clarke, is everything okay?" Bellamy asked.

At his worried tone, Abby shoved through from behind. "Clarke?"

She took another breath and opened her eyes. "Yes. We need to talk to Raven again, now."

"Raven, why?" Bellamy looked confused. When Clarke didn't answer, Abby just shrugged.

"Roan," Clarke said. He moved up beside her.

"Yes, Heda?"

"Please bring Luna to the conference room. I need to speak to all of you. Right now."

He nodded, then motioned to two of his men who were always standing around. They left and he moved in closer. Was that concern on his face? Impossible.

Clarke turned and marched back up the hallway to the room they'd all talked in a short time ago. Surprisingly she was able to find it without any problems.

Now what? She couldn't ask Luna to go on a suicide mission. She collapsed into a chair and rested her face in her hands, just for a second. For this to work, for everyone to live, both reactors had to vent. Which meant that one person wasn't coming back. That person was going to have to be her. But no one needed to know that.

"Clarke, you're scaring me," Abby leaned over and whispered, her arm around her daughter's shoulders.

Clarke kept her head propped up with her hands but moved her fingers out of the way so she could see her mom. How had Lexa kept it together, all the time? Never once freaking out, like she felt she was going to at any moment. "Sorry, Mom. It's going to be okay. I promise." Her heart broke and stomach turned at the almost lie. It was going to be okay. Not for Abby, not for a long time, but for everyone else it would be.

She looked over at Bellamy, who was staring at her. He knew something was up. She was going to have to go to the reactor alone. No one could know she was planning on not making it back, or they wouldn't let it happen. And the only way she was going to be able to do that was to send Bellamy with Luna. Then he would have a job and not figure out what was going on inside her head.

"Someone get a hold of Raven," she ordered.

Kane's voice said something in the background, but it was soft enough she couldn't understand him. Hopefully he was on the radio.

"Who is in charge now?" Jaha asked.

The whole room looked at Clarke.

Jaha lifted an eyebrow. "How did that happen?"

"Long story that we don't have time for," Octavia interrupted. Apparently she'd heard the story from someone. Octavia didn't care much for Jaha, she'd made that plain many times. Clarke had a hard time disagreeing with her.

"I've got Raven," Kane said, moving over and holding the radio out.

"Any results yet?" Clarke asked without a greeting.

"Not full results, no, but I think you're on to something here, Clarke." She sounded excited. More excited than Clarke had heard her since the whole ALIE thing. "I really think this could work. How did you come up with it again?"

So this was it. She couldn't know if this was going to work or not, but she had to try.

"Hey, Raven," Bellamy said when Clarke didn't answer Raven.

"Bellamy!"

Clarke tuned out their conversation and motioned for Roan. "I'm ready for Luna," she told him.

He nodded and went to the door. Luna was waiting outside. She limped in.

"What happened to you?" Clarke asked her.

She shrugged. "A big cat did not wish to be eaten. He was."

Clarke shook her head. Hopefully that wouldn't affect her ability to get to the nuclear plant. She looked around the room. Everyone she needed was here. Indra was nearly silent, but hadn't left her side. It was like she knew that whatever was going on was over her head.

Bellamy was just wrapping up his conversation with Raven.

It was time. She had wanted to talk with Luna alone, to be able to convince her without everyone else there pushing. But the last survivor of Floukru hadn't been with them when she took the Flame and it had taken awhile for Roan's men to get her here.

"Okay everyone, gather round." It didn't take much, they had all been waiting. "I've found a way to reduce the amount of radiation significantly. It should cut the time we need to spend in the bunker down to less than a year."

Indra whispered something to Octavia. Clarke glared at them. Neither one looked very intimidated.

"I plan on saving all our people." She turned to look at the only other known Nightblood in the world. "If Luna will help me."

Luna looked surprised. "What could I possibly do to stop the radiation?"

"There are two reactors within traveling distance. I'll take one, you take the other. We can keep them from exploding, and the radiation will be cut drastically. Only Nightbloods will be able to get close enough to reach the plants. They are already leaking radiation."

"But aren't there several plants going to explode?" Octavia asked. "How does stopping these two help us that much?"

"They are the ones closest to us, therefore they would produce the most impact," Abby answered. Was her mom really on board? That would make things so much easier.

"Exactly. So everyone starts stockpiling extra food and water, Luna and I get this reactors shut down, we get in the bunker and wait it out. It's absolutely possible." She looked at each person, gauging their thoughts. This was going to be a tough sell.

"What if you're wrong?" Roan asked from where he leaned against the doorframe at the entrance to the room. "What if we allow all these people in, and then in a year it still isn't safe to go outside? We start to run out of food, the water filters can't keep up. What happens?"

Her stomach lurched again. She was going to end up with ulcers. "If that happens, then it will be time for those lists."

"You mean you want to kill people down there?" Abby sounded horrified. Well, she had the right. It was horrible. Barbaric. But no worse than being locked out of the bunker to be incinerated by Praimfaya.

"What would we do with the bodies?" Roan asked. Ever practical.

"There is a waste disposal system in the bunker. It would work, if we need it to. But it won't come to that. Raven says this should work, you all heard her. It won't come to point where anyone else has to die. I won't let it. I will do whatever it takes to save my people." Indra stared. Clarke stared back. "All of my people."

"When would you need to leave?" Abby asked.

"As soon as possible. Within the next few hours, for sure. As long as Luna agrees."

The room got deathly quiet as everyone's gaze swung from Clarke to Luna. She looked at the ground quietly for a moment. "I'll do it. So no one else dies the way my clan did."

Clarke steeled her face, trying not to let the relief show. This would have all been for nothing if Luna had said no.

"I'm going with you," Bellamy said.

"No, you know how to operate the rover better than anyone here. I need you to take Luna." It was as good as an excuse as any. Good thing they wouldn't have a lot of time to go over her plan, or someone might figure out the flaw she was trying to hide.

"So you go to that one with me and send Luna to the other one," Bellamy said. He could be so stubborn.

"She's got a bum leg, Bellamy. Give up going with your girlfriend, you're going to have to take Luna in the rover."

Score one for Octavia. She was going to have to thank her later. Even if she had called her Bellamy's girlfriend, which wasn't true. There was no way that Bellamy would let Clarke go without him if he had any options at all.

"Luna shouldn't be riding. I'll go on horseback, you take her in the rover."

Bellamy looked nearly mutinous. "You can't go by yourself. Even on a normal day it isn't safe."

"True," Roan said, pushing himself off the doorframe and walking over. "Although I do believe our Wanheda is very capable of caring for herself, with the mission being so important you should have an escort. I volunteer."

"Oh no," Bellamy said, stepping up toe to toe with Roan.

"Bell." Clarke grabbed his bicep. "He'd offering to help."

Roan smiled. A rude, cocky smile, but a smile. "The Heda is correct."

Bellamy muttered something, but his posture loosened a little.

"Indra, can you get everyone to the throne room? I need to make some announcements."

Indra nodded, hand on her sword and left. Octavia followed.

"If there are no one questions, I'd like to speak with my mother."

Kane stepped forward and put a hand out. Clarke hesitantly took it. He shook her hand, squeezing hard. "We trust you, Clarke. Somehow we are still alive down here, and I think a lot of that is because of you." He left. Bellamy shook his head but followed Kane, probably trying to find some way to force Clarke to take him with her.

Roan nodded respectfully and walked out, turning to head toward the lift.

Which just left Jaha, who was staring at her strangely. Somehow that man always created problems. How was she going to keep him from destroying everything she'd worked for while she was gone? If he had his way she'd probably get back and Sky Crew had locked everyone out of the bunker. She had an hour or so to figure that one out. He left, but he didn't seem extremely happy about it.

She turned to her mom. They would have a goodbye a later, but there would be lots of people around. These were going to be the last moments she spent alone with her mom. She teared up before she could stop it. She was going to make them count.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone! How's life? I'm really obsessed with Infamous 2 right now. I would have never guessed it was a game I'd like, but it was free this month with PlayStation Plus and I'm loving it. Anyway, hope you all are having a great week!**

The room was packed before she even arrived. People were scared, terrified really. It did amazing things for stuff like getting a meeting together. She swept through the room, doing her best to look confident, maybe even a little haughty. It worked well for the other leaders. She swept onto the dais and didn't pause before going into her speech. Better to keep control of the situation.

"I'm sure you have all heard the rumors. And they are true. With the help of Luna kom Floukru, our people all are going to have a chance to survive Praimfaya." She spoke in trigedasleng, pausing to let Octavia translate for Skaikru.

Noise burst out across the room as everyone started talking between themselves, some yelling questions to Clarke. She ignored it all and raised a hand. The room quieted instantly.

"Luna and I will be leaving on separate missions. Between the two of us, will make the necessary stay in the bunker much shorter. It will be able to sustain far more people this way." No reason to explain that they might not be able to get to the reactors in time, that even if they did other problems could arise. She crushed the doubts. Them knowing this was going to be a long shot wouldn't help anything. It would just make it that much more likely that fighting would resume among the clans. As if it had ever fully stopped.

"Indra will be coordinating the extra supplies needed. She is to be obeyed on all things concerning food, water and all other basic needs." A yell went up from Azgeda. They were not happy someone from Trikru had such a position of power. Clarke raised her hand yet again. "Roan will be collecting weapons. There will be no weapons in the bunker."

The level of yelling nearly reached hysteria.

"You will let the Ice Nation take our weapons?" a man shouted.

"What about theirs? Will they continue to carry arms? We do not trust the Ice Nation king," a woman in back yelled. A chorus went up around them, people trying to be heard over each other. Clarke let them yell for a few moments. They weren't going to listen to her to stop anyway, and it would make her look weak to be disobeyed.

Finally people realized they weren't getting answers and quieted. Roan was looking pretty smug. Indra, angry, with her hand on the hilt of her sword. But when did Indra look anything but angry.

"They will not be taking your weapons above ground. If you wish to enter the bunker, your weapons must be checked and locked with everyone else's in a sealed room."

An angry grumbling floated to her from the crowd, but no one said anything loud enough for her to make out words.

"It will be my second, Echo, you will all be answering to," Roan broke in. "I will be accompanying Heda."

She probably should have lead with that. Everyone knew Echo was loyal to Roan, but it would still make people feel more secure if he was gone.

"Skaikru will be giving everyone an assignment, and teaching each person how to carry it out. Some will be growing food, some doing maintenance, all extremely necessary jobs." Better to keep everyone busy. Bored grounders would end up making dead grounders. And it would be good to have Sky Crew working alongside the other plans. Maybe they would all figure out that whether Skaikru, Azgeda or Trikru, they were all just people.

There was no reaction to that statement. Apparently everyone accepted all that as a necessary evil.

" _This is going better than could be expected, Clarke."_ The voice in her head threw her for a second. Would she ever get used to ALIE being in there? Would there be a time when she could get rid of her? The chip probably wasn't leaving her until the day she died and a conclave was held. That would have to be fixed too. If they all survived this. But no. The Flame would be incinerated with her, when she didn't make it back to the bunker before Praimfaya hit. Maybe that was for the best.

"That just leaves one thing," Clarke said. She turned around toward her friends. "Octavia."

Octavia looked at her, askance.

"Octavia kom Skaikru, step forward."

She did, though hesitantly, stopping in front of the dais.

"I make you my second. You word is law until my return." A murmur went up around the room, but no one dared to question the Heda's decision on this. Probably because of Indra, not because of Clarke. And the fact that Roan was already going with her, so the Ice Nation didn't have a reason to rebel. Octavia looked like she was going to drop dead, eyes wide. "Begin moving people into the bunker in waves. Assign bunks and allow someone else to assign work positions. I suggest Kane, but it is your decision. But get started soon. We don't want to wait until the last moment."

Octavia blinked rapidly, the only sign of something going on inside. "As you say, Heda," she finally answered.

Clarke relaxed slightly. Octavia cared about the clans more than anyone else who had the skills to oversee things while she took off on her mission. Having Roan go with her had solved the problem of him wanting to be her second nicely. Not that she didn't trust him to want what was best for her, but she couldn't trust him with the lives of her people.

How much honesty was good? She'd hated Jaha for everything, and yet now she understood him. It may have been better to not even tell the people she was leaving, to just have the other leaders pretend they were acting in her name. But what would have happened when she didn't return? No. They had to know she was leaving. Just not that she wasn't coming back. Octavia would make a fine Heda. If Roan didn't kill her for the position when he returned without Clarke.

"Luna and I will be leaving within the hour. Only Nightbloods can finish this mission, because only Nightbloods can survive the amount of radiation we will be exposing ourselves to." No one had anything to say to that. Ha. No muttering now. No volunteers to go on this nearly suicidal mission. Was it suicidal if you knew that you would die, but you went anyway? To save so many people? "Meeting dismissed."

The room got loud again, but she ignored it, letting her guards carve a path to the lift for her.

"Why aren't we leaving now?" Roan moved up beside her, helping the guards muscle people out of the way.

"I need to inspect the bunker first, make sure there isn't anything Jaha missed. Then I'll be ready. Are you?"

"Yes. The supplies are sitting next to the horses we will be taking. The horses only need tacked and the bags lashed on and we can leave."

"Go ahead and have the horses made ready. This shouldn't take long."

Roan nodded and slipped away for the stairs. No doubt he could get down much quicker that way.

Now all she had to do was take ALIE to check the bunker, to make sure she wasn't going to die alone for no reason, then she would be ready to go. After telling Bellamy goodbye. For the last time.


	9. Chapter 9

**So I just found out that you can sell 100 fanfiction on Amazon now, legally. I'm going to edit this story, sell several million copies and just live off of writing fanfiction in my bathrobe. Sounds plausible, right? It would be nice if it could at least cover buying the next season since Hulu doesn't have it anymore and I don't have regular TV lol**

This was it. ALIE had confirmed that the bunker was still good, after all this time. Until this moment she had been moving forward at a reckless pace, checking item after item off her must-be-finished-before-leaving list. She stepped out into the sunlight, leaving the bunker behind. Her feet seemed to drag as she forced herself forward. Now that the time had come, how could she leave?

They were waiting for her. The people she cared about, with a couple major exceptions. She wouldn't get the chance to say goodbye to Raven. To Jasper. Harper and Monty. It didn't matter. At least she would have the chance with the ones that were here. These weren't only the people she cared about, but the people that depended on her. That needed her to get her butt in gear and get this one last thing done. The last big hurrah.

She shook Jaha's hand first, and nodded when he told her good luck. Then moved on to Kane. She tried to get by with only a handshake there as well, but he pulled her into a hug. Tears pricked her eyes. "Take care of my mom," she whispered. "You know, if something happens."

He put his hands on her shoulders and moved her out to arms length, staring her in the eyes. "Nothing is going to happen. Compared to some of the other things you've been though, this should be simple. Just get back to us in one piece."

Ha. Simple. Yes. That was part of the problem. The simple answer was that someone had to die. And that Luna was the only other candidate. She'd been through enough.

Her mother's hug was nearly enough to crack her ribs. "Goodbye," Clarke whispered, and moved on. They'd already had their private goodbye. She couldn't drag this out or her mom was going to see something was going on, and probably insist on going with her. Octavia may need her help. She had to stay.

The worst goodbye would be Bellamy, so she put it off for last. Octavia had plenty of reasons to dislike her, but she pulled Clarke in for a hug. "I hope you knew what you were doing," she whispered in Clarke's ear. "Hurry back, I'll do my best until you get here but you know how it goes."

Clarke squeezed her and stepped back. "You'll be a wonderful leader, Octavia. I have full confidence in you."

"Still. I'd rather be a second with a Heda to follow than Heda myself," Octavia said.

Clarke smiled but didn't comment. Choosing Octavia hadn't taken much thought. She didn't trust anyone else with the job. But that didn't mean she was happy about placing her in such a position. Keeping the grounders from slaughtering each other for a year in the bunker would not be easy. But Octavia would see it done.

"Make sure that no matter what, no matter who is on the other side, the doors are closed in time. No matter what."

Octavia's face went mutinous and she opened her mouth.

"No," Clarke interrupted. "No matter what."

She glared for a moment, then softened and nodded. Octavia at least, was practical.

She didn't pause to speak with anyone else, just nodded as she passed, and soon she'd run out of people to use to stall from talking with Bellamy.

She stopped in front of him and looked up. He was obviously upset.

"You need to get going, especially since you're on horseback," Bellamy said. "You're going to have to hurry to make it back in time."

Always looking out for her. She couldn't stop a small smile. "I know."

"This is serious, Clarke, we can't shut the doors until you're back."

Oh no no no, that was not how this was going to go. She poked him in the chest. "You will close those doors if I'm not back, in plenty of time. They aren't hard to get back open, if I'm here you can let me in, if not…

He crossed his arms in front of his chest, face going dark. "But if we close those bunker doors and the radiation hits, Clarke," Bellamy said, "we won't be able to reopen them. You'll be stuck out here, alone, for possibly years. That's assuming you even survive the blast."

"Not alone," Luna moved forward and smiled at Clarke.

"We have time, Bel." She put all the emotional energy she could muster into a smile. He still didn't seem quite convinced.

"Let me take you in the rover." When he saw her face, Bellamy lifted his hands.

"We've had this discussion. It's over. You and Luna need to get going too. Do you have hazmat suits packed? To help Luna with the radiation and to keep you from getting sick when she gets back and has it all over her?"

Bellamy nodded reluctantly.

"Goodbye, Bellamy." She gave him a quick hug and turned, fighting the hot tears trying to escape.

The horses were waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Roan looked up from where he was whispering with Echo. She nodded and he strode over, hopping onto his horse in one deft move. She sighed. She would never be able to do that.

This was it. She moved forward and mounted, doing her best not to embarrass herself in front of all these people, some who now thought she was their leader. The powerful Wanheda falling off her horse and hitting the ground face first would probably not be good for morale.

"Wait," Bellamy called. He came forward and handed her a radio. "Keep in touch. I wanted to make sure it was fully charged."

Clarke nodded, but didn't say anything. Her voice would give away what she was feeling.

"Ready, Clarke?" Roan asked. She'd never been happier to hear his gravelly voice.

"Yes. Let's go."

So far, so good. ALIE had been suspiciously quiet over the last few hours. Roan had recognized the spot Clarke had showed him on the map as one of the areas that the grounders avoided at all costs and was leading the way. The fact that the grounders wouldn't go there was actually a great sign. Hopefully it meant ALIE wasn't just taking her out here to die so the people she left behind fought among themselves and ended the human race. She didn't have any reason to believe the AI would want that, but she still didn't, couldn't, trust her completely. If Raven hadn't backed her up on the possibility of this working, she'd have had a tough time convincing herself to give her life.

Lexa was in there somewhere. And Becca. They wouldn't let her die for no reason.

Now she just needed to figure out how to get Roan to head back to the bunker in time, to leave her. He didn't know the whole plan yet, and even with all his faults she didn't think he was going to like it. She let a small grin take over her face. Maybe he'd go back and convince Octavia to marry him. That would be interesting.

She glanced over at him riding beside her. He didn't seem to notice as he scanned the trees for danger. They were getting far enough from Polis that the road they'd been following had all but disappeared. She'd have a hard time finding her way back on her own, even with a map. If Praimfaya held off long enough for her to even start the journey home.

Home. Polis was home. So odd.

She shifted in the saddle, trying to take some weight off her butt bones. Trotting along like this was killer. She probably should have spent more time riding, while she had the chance. Too late for regrets now.

But, back to the problem at hand. Getting Roan to go back without her. Still easier than Bellamy, but not as easy as she'd like.

"I know what you are thinking, Clarke."

Clarke snapped her full attention to Roan.

He looked at her for a moment, his sad little half smile barely tipping the side of his mouth. "You aren't planning on us getting back, are you."

She felt her eyes widen, but tried not to show any other reaction.

He scanned around them with a look before turning back to her. "I know we don't have time to get to the plant and back before the radiation wave hits." He patted his horse's neck. "Even with the best mounts available. That's why you sent Bellamy and Luna with the rover, even though where we are going is a slightly longer trip."

Well shoot. This was coming to a head before she'd come up with a solution.

He pulled his horse to a stop. She stopped beside him and he reached out, placing his hand on top of her free one. "It's a leaders duty to look after their people. You are a fine Heda."

Tears pricked her eyes. He knew and he was still coming. And it was the least she could do, after all the lives that had ended because of her. Maybe this would tip the scale in her favor. Maybe not. But she had to try.

"You don't have to go all the way, Roan. I was planning on telling you, on having you go back before it was too late."

He grinned and nudged his horse into a trot. "We'll see, Wanheda."

Sometimes that man could be so aggravating. She kicked her horse into a lope to catch up. They would see indeed.

 **Just wanted to say I appreciate every review!** **I go back and read them frequently as motivation for the next chapter, so thank you all!**


	10. Chapter 10

**My grandparents needed someone to take their car down south for them for the winter, so another family member and I volunteered. She drove most of the day yesterday, which meant I got to write! And voila, a longer chapter than usual!**

An internal groan almost forced itself out. They had been riding for hours. She'd lost track of how many quite awhile ago. Longing to get there warred with the overwhelming wish that they never would, that they could just travel on forever and that the world wasn't about to end. She hadn't felt this alone since she'd been locked in the Skybox.

" _You aren't alone, Clarke."_

 _What did I tell you about reading my mind?_ Maybe alone wouldn't be so bad.

"How far, Roan?"

He almost seemed surprised to hear her speak. They'd been riding in silence forever, so he probably was. There wasn't much left to say.

"Four hours, if everything goes well."

As if anything ever went well.

"We should get there just before dark."

We? No. He couldn't get that close without risking permanent damage. Plus, he wouldn't make it back to the bunker in time. She would have to send him back soon. But not yet. He could come with her, just a little farther.

The silence started up again. It was a beautiful day. How could it be this nice out when everything was about to be destroyed? The sun warmed her face, the breeze just perfect through her hair. Things she had longed for an eternity ago on the Ark. How was she not a hundred years old? After Lexa, Mount Weather, Finn, she felt even older than that.

A bird tweeted somewhere in the trees to her left. That was nice to hear. There hadn't been many birds around lately. In fact, none. They had moved on, trying to find food after the insects had died in droves from the rising radiation levels.

Another bird, this one on her right. That was strange. She looked over at Roan. He'd gone all tense. Oh crap. Those weren't really birds.

"Get ready to take off on my signal," Roan said. Other than the tension in his shoulders, he wasn't giving away that he was on to whoever was in the trees at all. Clarke told her muscles to relax, trying to imitate his forced casualness.

Without giving them a chance to make a break for it, an arrow flew from the trees on the right, striking Roan in the side and knocking him to the ground. His horse pulled away, crashing into the nearby shrubbery.

He roared in pain and jumped to his feet, pulling his sword. "Go, Clarke! Get out of here!"

" _Go Clarke, we have to leave him!"_

The twang of another arrow leaving a bow nearly made her panic. Her horse reared and squealed, snorting. Somehow she managed to keep her seat, reining the mare in. The mare danced around, upset by the confusion and smell of blood. Roan's blood. Her gaze went to Roan as soon as she knew she wasn't about to join him on the ground, terrified of what she would find.

He was gone, already in the trees.

Crashing in the undergrowth sent her horse into another round of frantically trying to get away. This time she was prepared and forced the mare to circle, keeping her from taking off.

"Roan!" No answer. Her heart raced, pulse pounding in her ears. How could she leave him? How could she not? She would be risking everyone she left back at Polis if she wasn't able to get to the reactor before it blew.

" _Clarke, get down!"_ ALIE shouted in her head.

She dropped down against the horse's neck just before an arrow whistled past.

No matter what she couldn't sit here in the open. She loosened the reins and her mare tore off down the trail, ramming Clarke's leg into a tree in the process. She grabbed the saddle to right herself and lost the reins.

Unwilling to be left behind, Roan's stallion screamed from behind them, and then thundered past, not burdened down by a rider.

She couldn't do this. Couldn't leave him behind injured, without even a horse to get him back to Polis. There was no way he could make it back before the wave hit, if he could make it back at all. Because he was alive to make it back. He was Roan, he had to be.

She leaned over the mare's neck, hair whipping in the wind and stinging across her face. She groped for the reins, which thankfully hadn't fallen over the mare's head to the ground.

The reins were slick in her sweaty hands, but she gripped them tighter and yanked. The mare slid to a stop, rump almost to the ground, tossing her head in protest at the harsh pull on her bit.

Clarke hit the ground. Some distant part of her mind marveled that it had taken this long.

Her hand was still wrapped around the reins. She gripped them tighter. She wasn't going to lose this horse too. The mare did a little half rear and then settled. She had to be exhausted. The poor thing was heaving in deep breaths, sweat dripping from her neck and shoulders.

A nearby tree worked as a hitching post. Clarke quickly tied the reins around a low hanging limb, knotting and re-knotting the reins. She quickly checked the saddle bags for weapons. There, a pistol. Someone was looking after their Heda.

Pain shot through the leg that had made contact with the tree as she ran as fast as it would allow her back down the trail.

" _Clarke! You can't risk your life for him, what are you doing? Everyone is counting on us!"_

 _Shut up. I know you're incapable of feeling things for individuals, but I'm not. Feel what I feel or get out of my head until I ask for you._

When she deemed herself close enough that she might be heard, she slowed, taking deep breaths through her nose to try to help with the nausea the pain in her leg was causing.

" _Someone is coming up the trail."_

 _Thank you. See, useful but not annoying._ She ducked behind a tree. A second later a man jogged by. Her heart dropped. Not Roan.

" _He will find the horse, Clarke. That is most likely what they were after in the first place."_

ALIE was right but she couldn't just shoot the guy. His friends might still be alive and hear.

In her moment of indecision someone grabbed her from behind, clamping a hand over her mouth. She struggled, breaking free and whirling around, gun raised.

It was Roan, blood splattered everywhere, one hand in the air, the other carefully keeping his dripping sword pointed at the ground.

"I got the rest. Where are the horses?"

She jumped forward and hugged him, making him grunt in pain. "Sorry! Mine is tied up to a tree farther along the trail. I don't know where yours is."

"We need to stop him."

In other words, she needed to stop him. Roan should not be running around with that arrow wound. She needed to look at it, but first things first. She took off back toward the horses.

When she came around the corner the grounder was trying to get close enough to untie her horse. The mare was having none of that, baring her teeth and wheeling to kick at the stranger.

"Hey!" Clarke yelled, holding up the gun. "Get away from my horse!" She had no problem shooting the guy after the cowardly ambush he had put her and Roan through, but she didn't want to miss and shoot the horse. She hadn't used a gun much and ammunition was too precious to practice.

The man stepped back, hands in the air. He had an extra finger and his wrist was at an odd angle. An Exile. Hopefully not related to Emori, by blood or by clan, or whatever the Exiles called their groups. It wouldn't change what she had to do, but she didn't need the guilt of anyone else's family on her hands.

"Farther. Move away from my horse," Clarke forced out from between gritted teeth. This man had no idea what he had almost caused, the amount of people he had almost killed.

He eyed her gun, then his eyes flitted over to her horse again.

"No." She barely had the word out before he darted behind the mare, not giving her time to get a shot off.

A sharp whistle split the air from behind her. Roan?

There was a second of silence before the thundering of hooves coming up the trail floated in their direction.

The Exile had frozen on the other side of the mare, fumbling with the last knot. He went back to frantically picking at it, trying to free the mare.

Roan's stallion burst into sight. He flung his head and took a wild look around, then lunged at the Exile, clamping onto his arm with his teeth and rearing, lifting the man into the air before dropping him to the ground.

The man shrieked and tried to scramble backward, setting the mare off crashing against the tree she was tied to. There was no getting away from the stallion.

Snorting, the stallion reared and came down straight on the grounder. He went up again, and the man went silent. Blood splattered against his chest as he pounded what was left of the man into the ground. Eventually he moved away, flinging his head and snorting, blood soaked front hooves pawing the ground.

Roan moved around Clarke and spoke to his horse. Who knew the man could sound so gentle.

Clarke let herself lean back against a tree, doing her best to not just crumple to the ground. She didn't care that the Exile was dead, but now that this was over she was glad she hadn't had to kill him.

"I knew horses were dangerous," she called over to Roan, who was stroking his horse's face. "I just thought it was because people could fall off."

He chuckled. "Only when they are taught to be. Roach is my war horse. We've been through a lot together."

"Well remind me not to make him mad," Clarke muttered.

Roan grinned, then grimaced when his horse nudged him in the chest.

"Oh, you were hurt!" In all the excitement she'd forgotten. She hobbled toward him, her stomach rolling at the memory of the arrow thudding into this chest.

The stallion rubbed his head on Roan's chest again, knocking him to the ground.

"Roan!" Clarke rushed over and dropped beside him, searching for his wound.

"Stop. I'm fine." He shoved her hands away.

"You are obviously not fine. You have an arrow shaft sticking out of your body!"

"Not anymore."

"What?" She jerked his shirt up to check where she'd seen him get hit. Sure enough, while she had been tearing off on the mare, the arrow had been shoved through and all that was left was a ragged hole. "Did you do this?"

Roan went all tight lipped.

"You did, didn't you." Clarke's hands went to her hips. "You can't just do that! What if you made it worse?"

"This isn't my first arrow wound, Clarke." Roan raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well…" she didn't really have anything to say to that. "I still need to look at it. We need to get it cleaned up, bandaged, make sure there aren't any splinters or anything like that."

"It can wait. We need to go. We are losing time."

" _He is correct, Clarke. We must push on. Even if you stop briefly, you take the chance of being too late to vent the reactor. He will die either way at that point."_

 _Shut up. I told you I'd ask for you opinion if I wanted it._

Roan shuffled to his feet and gave a short, high whistle, totally different than the one he'd used earlier. His stallion moved forward and dropped to his knees, allowing Roan to roll onto his back.

 _Wish my horse did that._ Clarke moved over to her mare and undid the last knot, the only thing that had kept the grounder from taking off with her. Getting into the saddle was quite a feat with her bum leg. She should look it over too, but if they weren't stopping for an arrow through Roan they certainly weren't going to stop because she bumped her leg.

Roan was slumping slightly in his saddle. If his normal posture hadn't been so rigid, she might have thought it was normal for him, but it most definitely wasn't. He was in a lot of pain. As if this trip wasn't difficult enough already.

"You need to head back," Clarke said.

Roan rolled his eyes and clicked to his horse, who started along the trail at a gentle walk.

"Seriously Roan, please. You need to go back."

He ignored her and kept on.

Obviously the man could not be reasoned with. She was going to have to come up with her own way to force him to go back. A pang hit her. And then she was on her own.

 **P.S. Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! Every one of them is greatly appreciated :)**


	11. Chapter 11

That was it. This had to be handled. Roan was nearly passing out in his saddle, no doubt from blood loss and just the general exhaustion that came after that big of a shock to the body. The stubborn man was going to die before they even got there at this rate.

"Roan, I need to stop."

He grunted and kept riding.

She pulled her mare to a halt. "Really. I need to pee." It was a good excuse. They hadn't stopped in awhile.

Roan sighed and rolled his eyes, but didn't argue.

"Rude," Clarke said, dropping to the ground. She nearly fell, grabbing onto the saddle to keep herself from tumbling into the dirt. She hissed under her breath, keeping the mare between her and Roan so he wouldn't see her moment of weakness. As if all this riding wouldn't have been enough to make her want to cry, the stupid horse had to go and ram her leg into a tree. It felt swollen, but now was not the time to look.

"Hurry up. We need to get there before dark." Roan was grumpier than usual. He had to be in so much more pain than she was. She snuck the radio out of her saddle bag and stuffed it into her jacket.

"Be right back." She limped off into the woods, far enough that he couldn't hear her, and turned the radio on. She'd left it off to conserve the batteries. They were super old and the charge didn't hold well anymore.

"Clarke to Polis," she said, then waited a moment.

"Clarke?" the voice was staticy, but unmistakable.

"Raven! You made it to Polis!"

"Yes! Just to find out you'd left. I told you this might work, Clarke, but I didn't think you'd run off and risk your life. I'm surprised your mom hasn't killed me yet."

"I'm so glad you're safe, but I need to talk to Echo. Right now. It's really important."

There was silence for a moment. "I sent one of your goons for her. So weird that they are your goons now. Until she gets here we can talk. Wanna tell me how you came up with these numbers? Everyone is trying to tell me that the Flame spoke to you, but obviously that's crazy."

Clarke winced. Tell her the truth or not? She definitely wouldn't be happy about ALIE being involved. "It's a long story, Raven. I don't really have time to get into it right now."

"Oh, okay." Raven sounded hurt and Clarke wanted to kick herself. "As soon as you get back. You know, after you do your Heda thing."

"Yeah, sure. As soon as I get back." She let go of the button, not wanting Raven to hear the he voice change.

"Echo's here," Raven said.

"Heda?" Echo asked. "Is the king with you?"

Relief flooded her. Who would have ever guessed she'd be this glad to talk with Echo. "Not at the moment. He's what I need to talk with you about. I need you to leave, right now, follow our trail. I assume Roan told you our route?"

"Yes, Heda."

"Good. He's been injured and needs help getting back. He just won't admit it." The last part of that was muttered. She described some of the landmarks she'd seen in the last ten minutes. "Do you know where we are?"

"Yes. I have men preparing horses now. Once we arrive I will continue on the journey with you in his stead."

"No. I can't wait for you," even if it was going to nearly kill her to leave Roan like this. "Even if you push your horses nearly to death, it will take you hours to get here. If I'm going to make it in time I need to leave now." Especially since she didn't know the route and had a bum leg. She couldn't risk waiting.

" _You have me, Clarke. I will make sure you reach the reactor."_

 _Thank you, ALIE._ Strangely enough, she meant it. That AI was going to be the closest thing she had to company before she died.

"How badly is he injured?" Echo's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"He can still ride, but won't let me look at the wound. He was hit by an arrow in the side."

"We will hurry." The words came out in almost a growl. The Exile who had done this would probably be glad he was dead if he knew what was going on. Echo wasn't a very forgiving person.

The mic keyed like someone was going to speak, but all Clarke could hear was her mom yelling in the background about getting medical supplies put on a horse.

No. No, no, no. She couldn't come. It would be cutting it close for Echo and Roan to get back, she couldn't risk her mom. Plus, Abby would slow them down. She didn't know how to ride. Even a short delay could mean the difference between life and death for the whole group.

Finally someone let go of the button on the other side. "Raven? Raven!" she yelled into the radio.

"Yeah, here, no need to scream."

"Is my mom planning on coming?"

"Yes, she wants to ride back with you."

"You tell Octavia that my mother is not to come. No matter what. She can lock her in the bunker if she needs to, but she cannot come."

"Why not? What's going on?" Raven was too smart for both of their sakes.

"I can't talk about it, just promise me my mom will be staying in Polis."

A pause. "I promise to relay the message, but I don't have any power here, Clarke. I can't promise that what you want is going to happen."

That would have to do. "Thank you. Any word from Bellamy and Luna?"

"Yes, they called in an hour ago. They should be almost to where they have to split up by now."

" _That's wonderful news. They should have plenty of time to get the reactor shut down and return."_

For once Clarke didn't yell at ALIE for butting in. If the AI started to care about the people Clarke cared about, that could only help.

"Good. I'll call in when I reach the reactor."

"Okay."

There was a pause, neither of them really wanting to say goodbye. But there wasn't time to waste. Clarke unfortunately knew that better than anyone. "Raven, things are going to get better. Once this is over, everyone is going to have to learn to live together. You're going to have a great life, everyone from the Ark is."

"Of course. With you as Heda I'd expect nothing less," Raven snarked.

Ha. Like showing that much favoritism wouldn't get her killed and her soul recycled, or whatever the grounders thought. If something weird happened and she survived this, she would have to study up on this whole Flame worship thing.

" _I can help you there, Clarke."_ ALIE hardly finished speaking before things started to flash before Clarke's eyes.

"Hey!" she yelled out loud. "I said if we make it back!"

The image scrolling stopped. A moment of silence. _"I apologize. I was excited to be able to do something to help and I overstepped."_

Clarke sighed. As if it wasn't enough that she had to deal with everyone else's feelings, now she had to worry about upsetting this thing in her head and making it misbehave. _You have been helpful. You saved my life. I would never have gotten out of the way of that arrow if you hadn't warned me. Thank you. And you can help again. I studied the map before we left, as you remember, but I might need help finding the reactor. I'm sure that area is totally overgrown if the grounders won't go near it._

" _Of course!"_ ALIE enthusiastically yelled in her mind. Clarke winced.

Was the AI better than no company at all? She was about to find out. It was time to say goodbye to Roan, whether she wanted to or not.

She limped back to the tree line and then straightened, doing her best to act normal without putting weight on her bum leg. Roan would never let her go on without him if he knew she'd been injured, even if it wasn't bad.

He was sitting, slumped on his horse when she moved out of the trees. He sat up as soon as he saw her. "About time. I was getting ready to go look for you."

She made a face at him but didn't comment. She made her way over to her horse and stopped to rub the mare's face. "It's time to split up, Roan. If you don't leave soon, you might not make it back before Praimfaya hits."

He glared down at her. If she didn't know him she'd be intimidated, arrow wound or not. But she did know him and it just made her want to smile.

"I'm not leaving you out here to die alone, Clarke. You saw what happened to your mother's experiment number one. The radiation will still kill you, just like it would kill anyone else."

"We don't know that." She turned her back to him to rub down the mare's side with one hand, other hand still gripping the radio. The horse huffed in gratitude. She was probably sore too. "Mom made adjustments before I injected the solution. And even if it's true, that being a nightblood won't help me, there's no reason for both of us to die."

Roan nudged his stallion around so he could look Clarke in the face. "I'm not leaving."

"Well then a lot of your favorite people are going to die. I called them on the radio and told them to come get you."

"What?" Roan roared. "How could you do that?"

Clarke glared up at him. "Because I don't want you to get your stubborn self killed!"

"Call them back," Roan said, his voice dangerously low. "Now."

Clarke crossed her arms in front of her chest, holding the radio tight. "No."

"Where's the radio?" She didn't answer. "Where is it Clarke?" When she didn't answer, he huffed in anger and slid off his horse. She moved over to help in case he was too weak to stand, but of course she wasn't needed.

"Give me the radio, Clarke." He stalked toward her, only slightly less menacing than he could normally be.

"No."

"Fine then. I'll take it from you." He lunged at her, flailing at the radio. She jumped back away from him, not expecting this much fight after everything he'd been through today. He got a grip on her jacket and when she went to run, it caught her off balance. Her bad leg buckled and they fell into a heap on the ground. She struggled for a moment to get free, but Roan was dead weight on top of her. His breath was ragged with exertion. He was going to seriously hurt himself.

He rolled to the side, gripping the radio. She didn't let go. They struggled for a moment, both of them trying to get the upper hand. Roan jerked and she lost it. She jumped at him and pounded his back with her fists.

"You have to go back!"

Roan ignored her and stood, moving away. He held the radio up and his face went white. She'd never seen him look this upset, not even when they were about to die. He usually just smirked. He held the radio up. The screen was cracked, the antenna destroyed.

"Crap," Clarke said under her breath.

"Now what?" Roan panted.

"Now you have to head back. If not, they will look for you until they find you. You know Echo. You know she will. And they'll all die too."

Roan growled again, this time actually almost sounding scary.

Clarke limped backwards, toward the horses. This wasn't ideal. She really would have preferred to been able to tell everyone goodbye, one last time. But maybe it was better. Maybe it would make things easier. Raven would be upset when she didn't call in, but Roan could explain it all to her when he got back. He was going to live. She wasn't giving him a choice.

When she glanced back, Roan was leaning against a tree, holding onto his side. He wasn't looking great. He had better not die here, waiting for Echo. She'd never forgive him. But then, she'd never know.

"Don't follow me." She swung up onto her horse in as dignified manner as she could manage. "You know where I'm going, but not the route I'll take. You won't be able to find me before the radiation poisoning starts to affect you, and your stallion. Find Echo. Please."

He didn't look up. Didn't even acknowledge she'd said anything.

"Goodbye, Roan," she whispered. After one last look at his dejected form she clicked to her horse. Time to face what little time she had left. Alone.

 **You are all so sweet with your reviews** **Seriously, it makes me so happy, thank you!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews, everyone! I really, seriously, appreciate everyone that takes the time to leave one, even if it just says thanks for updating. You people that leave a review on every chapter, I love you! Thanks for being great!**

Dusk was slowly winning the battle against the day. Clarke pulled her jacket in tighter, almost past the point of shivering. When she stopped shivering, she'd worry, but she didn't need something else on her mind at the moment. She slid her hands up under her horse's mane, enjoying the extra warmth there.

Her mind kept trying to hijack her, to take her back to leaving Roan bleeding on the ground, to wondering if Echo had found him yet. If they were back at the bunker. But she wouldn't let it. She had to focus.

The mare stumbled, throwing Clarke up on her neck. She squeaked and grabbed a hunk of mane. It fell out in her hand.

" _You should continue riding Clarke, with the damage to your leg. Just be ready to dismount quickly if needed."_

Clarke's stomach rolled at the thought and she nearly vomited over the horse's side. Her last companion, and she was asking her to walk to her death. Not that the mare knew that getting close to the reactor was poisoning her, was causing her to slow, to stumble, but still. Clarke knew. If she didn't have a deadline, if her leg wouldn't slow her down so much, she'd send the mare on her way.

" _She will die anyway, Clarke, when Praimfaya hits."_

The voice in her head needed to shut up. She knew what was going to happen, that didn't mean she had to like it.

Her sore muscles screamed as she bumped her legs against the mare, trying to keep her moving. She wasn't going to make it far.

The sun settled behind the treeline, making the darkness drop all around her. Great. Clarke's eyes drifted closed, the steady motion of the mare lulling her into a half asleep state of almost not caring.

A stumble and she started awake, gripping the saddle and sucking in a breath. The mare righted herself and plodded on. Wait a second. Why wasn't it pitch black anymore? The moss on the trees around her was glowing. She had to be getting close to the plant. She touched some on the past a tree, still slightly awed. And right now, thankful.

"How far are we?" Clarke asked ALIE. Somehow it didn't seem as creepy when she was talking out loud.

ALIE's avatar popped into existence, floating beside her. "Forty-seven minutes, at our current rate of speed."

Ugh, forty-seven more minutes on this horse, if she was lucky. She patted the poor girl's neck. Unlikely that she would make it that long. It wasn't going to be fun walking the rest of the way. If she'd harbored any hope of making it back to the bunker before Praimfaya hit, it was long gone now.

They shuffled along in the dark, the horse stumbling more and more often, her head hanging low. Tears pricked Clarke's eyes, but she was too exhausted for anything more than that. ALIE occasionally corrected the direction of their slow movement, but other than that things were quiet. So quiet. No birds or insects, no animals of any kind really. She huffed out a small laugh. Nothing but her was stupid enough to get this close to a nuclear reactor. She adjusted her leg, trying to get some blood flow. The swelling felt like it was getting worse, but in the dark she hadn't been able to check.

Suddenly the horse grunted and fell to her knees. Clarke panicked and pulled her feet out of the stirrups, tipping off the side just in time to avoid being pinned as the animal collapsed. The mare thrashed a couple times, then stilled. She crawled over and lifted her head, sitting it in her lap.

The mare was still breathing, but barely. Small puffs of warm air, accompanied by anguished grunts. Another death on her head, even if the mare would have died when Praimfaya hit anyway.

"Your fight is over," Clarke whispered, tears dripping down on the horse's muzzle. She pulled her pistol and held it to the horse's head, sliding back as far as she could. "May you find peace."

Even though she was the one to pull the trigger, the shot made her flinch. The sound ricocheted around the silent forest, echoing back to her over and over.

The mare convulsed and went still.

" _I'm sorry, Clarke. I do not understand human emotion well, but I do know that this was difficult for you."_

Clarke didn't answer audibly, but she let a pulse of gratitude go through her, and was met by a feeling of sorrow. Could the AI learn to feel from her? Or would she end up emotionless, like ALIE? Did they have that much effect on each other? Lexa had seemed emotionless at first, only thinking about her duty to her people. But then, Clarke had seen the real her, filled with so much emotion. She was the only Heda Clarke had ever known, so that made it difficult to assume anything.

She wiggled over to a tree and used it to pull her herself up, her whole body screaming in protest. Even the pain in her lower back and thighs from riding gave way to the heat in her leg. Pins and needles shot up from her knee when she put her foot down. She grimaced and lifted it for a second, then gingerly tried again. Not as bad. Maybe.

But it didn't matter. By now Luna would have the other reactor shut down and would be part way back to Polis. She couldn't be far from the plant.

" _Approximately two miles, Clarke. I can help with the pain, if you'd like. It isn't healthy to leave it for long, but I can block some of your nerves to dull the pain."_

Well that wasn't scary at all. But a necessary evil. "Do it."

Instantly the pain in her leg went down to a dull ache, and all of the other problem spots became non-issues.

ALIE popped into existence beside her. "We can't leave it that way too long. If you were to injure yourself, you wouldn't know with your nerves dulled like this. I wish I could help more."

"It's not an issue, ALIE. I only have to deal with it for a day. Praimfaya hits tomorrow, if we're lucky and it waits that long." She started limping forward, realized the limp wasn't necessary and walked a little faster. "Thank you for your help."

ALIE cocked her head to the side, looking almost confused. She moved into step with Clarke. "Do you mind if I accompany you like this?"

Clarke eyed her for a second. "No. I could use the company."

ALIE cocked her head again, like she was thinking, and then smiled. A real smiled. "Then company you shall have."

After walking forever in the dark, talking about everything and nothing with ALIE, Clarke finally stumbled out of the trees. The luminescent moss on the trees had been wonderful, but it did nothing compared the brilliant light of the full moon shining on the clearing ahead of them. ALIE trailed off with whatever she was saying, apparently realizing that Clarke wasn't listening anymore.

What little brush there was in the fifty or so feet to the edge of the plant was stunted, grotesque. That didn't bode well for the amount of radiation the reactor was giving off, even without exploding. She took a deep breath. This was it. What she'd been working toward. They'd made it.

She started forward, the moon lighting her path. Her leg was just an annoyance at this point, nearly forgotten. She had to admit, she wouldn't have made it this far without ALIE.

A warm pulse went through her body. _"Thank you, Clarke."_

She sighed. She didn't have the heart to chew the AI out for reading her thoughts again. Hopefully she wasn't reading them now.

The chain link fence that at some distant point in the past had kept people out was mostly rusted to pieces. Finding an entry point wasn't difficult.

"Okay, ALIE, it's all you now. Where do we go?"

"This way," the projection, or hologram, or whatever she was, said, moving through the plant with ease.

Clarke followed, weaving through junk and debris. Was there anything here salvageable? Not that it really mattered. Even if Praimfaya didn't destroy it all, no one left but Luna would be able to freely move around here anyway.

ALIE lead her in for a few minutes before stopping at a door. "We need to get in here."

The door was metal of some sort, fairly strong. Clarke tried the handle. Locked, of course. She wiggled the handle, hoping the course of time had corroded it enough to help her out. No such luck. She took a step back and stared for a moment. There was no way she was breaking through that thing.

"Might I suggest the hinges?" ALIE said from behind her.

The door was sagging a little, which meant at least one hinge was bent. "Good call." She rummaged about for a moment until she found a metal rod of some kind. Who knew what it was actually for, but today it was going to be a pry bar.

She walked over and shoved the bar into the slight crack the sagging hinge left, and threw all her weight into it. The bottom half of the door popped away from the wall, groaning. She righted herself. "That was easier than I thought."

"It is very old, Clarke."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "I realize that. Just things don't tend to go well for me. I may have a little bit of a complex about that by now."

"Ah, I see. Might I suggest talking about it? Research shows that it does help."

"Not now, ALIE." Clarke shoved the bar in near the top of the door, aiming for the other hinge. This time she was a little more careful, and with little effort the hinge gave way. She jumped to the side just in time to avoid it falling on her. "That'd be about right," she muttered, tossing the bar to the ground.

She moved into the room, careful as the moonlight faded behind her.

"Here, Clarke," ALIE said from somewhere ahead.

She stumbled toward the voice until she found her, standing next to a crank.

"That's it? I just turn that thing and we're good?"

"Yes, we are, as you say, good. This valve releases the pressure in the reactor, venting into the air. It's perfectly safe, and was designed to happen once every ten years. After the radiation blast killed most life, the knowledge must have been lost."

Well duh. People had more important things to worry about at that point.

She grabbed the handle of the crank and turned. Or at least tried to. She pushed again, harder. Still nothing. She threw all of her weight into it, grunting, and it gave, just a little. She stood back for a second, catching her breath. No way she was going through all of this and failing at the last moment. She went back at it, turning it slowly, centimeter my centimeter, until something hissed.

"We did it!" ALIE shouted. It was the loudest Clarke had ever heard her, and the most emotional. "Chance of detonation down to ninety-six percent. Eight-four percent. Sixty-seven percent."

"I got it, I got it," Clarke said, suddenly weary beyond words. "Let me know when it's as low as it's going to get." She shuffled back a bit, looking for something to sit on. It was too dark to see much, so she walked over and slid down the wall, leaning into it. Finally, a few moments of peace. No hurrying, no mission. She could rest. "My fight is over," she whispered to herself, and passed out, asleep.

 **Is this the end?! Is Clarke going to just sit there until Praimfaya hits, to die after all she's been through?! Tune in next week (or however long it takes me to write the next chapter lol) to find out!**


	13. Chapter 13

**So, it's NaNoWri month! That's National Novel Writing Month to those of you who don't write. Which may or may not be good for posting chapters. Good, because I can write one or two a day, bad because I don't do much editing this month and therefore no posting lol. So we'll see how it goes! Now, let's see about getting Clarke out of another mess…**

"Clarke," the voice was gentle, almost sing-songy. "Clarke, you have to get up."

"Huh?" Clarke grunted, not opening her eyes. What reason did she have for getting up? None, that she could remember. She'd done what she needed to. She sighed and snuggled back down against the wall.

"Clarke, are you going to sleep the rest of your life away? I gave you two hours of rest."

Clarke managed to open one gritty eye. A one-eyed glare wasn't probably very effective, but she put her whole being into it. "Why does it matter, ALIE? I can't possibly make it back to the bunker in time. Let me sleep." Her voice was a croak, the cold and lack of fluids taking their toll. She hardly understood her own words, but the AI seemed to.

"It's true, it isn't possible to make it back to the bunker before Praimfaya hits, but it is possible to make it to Arkadia."

Arkadia? How could that help?

"If the other rover is still there, and a radiation suit, it may help you survive the first blast. If we can live through that, I believe your night blood will be able to combat the remaining radiation."

Clarke's eyes popped open and mind slammed into overdrive. "Why didn't you mention this before?"

"I did not want to create false hope. The chances are very small, but there is a chance."

Clarke struggled to her feet, pins and needles driving down her legs. "Why did you let me sleep?"

ALIE cocked her head. "The human body requires rest. I could feel problems beginning with your blood pressure and respirations. I calculated the minimum sleep required to allow you to recover enough to make the journey. You have met that requirement."

Clarke sighed. If she knew ALIE's intentions, things would be so much better. Did she really just want to help, or was there something else going on, something deeper? So far she'd proved to be nothing but loyal. And her existence did rely on Clarke's.

"Well. Let's get going then." Clarke shoved off the wall and groaned, her knee shooting pains through her whole body. "Can you do that nerve thing again?"

Instantly the pain eased.

"Thank you."

The moon was still bright above her as she made her way back through the old power plant. ALIE walked beside her. When they reached the treeline, the familiar glow of the moss almost made her smile. There was a chance she could survive this. Small, but a chance. She grimaced. If she did, her mom was going to kill her in a year when the bunker opened. If Roan didn't kill her first.

Instinctively she knew which way to go. Did that mean her connection with ALIE was getting stronger? That she didn't even need to ask? Somehow she automatically knew that Arkadia was a four hour walk, at an angle to the route she would have taken to go back to Polis.

No one had better be looking for her, or she'd kill them. It was absolutely something Bellamy would do, but hopefully they wouldn't know she wasn't going to make it back until Roan returned and told them.

Roan. Was he okay? Was he still alive? The wound itself wasn't in a terrible place, but with all the physical stress he had been under… No. No thinking about that, no wondering. It didn't do her any good.

Problem was, all she had was time to think.

"ALIE, do you have Becca's memories?"

"Yes, Clarke. I have all the former Commander's memories."

Well that, at least, could be interesting. It would give them things to talk about for the next four hours. Maybe that would help her stay awake.

The walk was strange, the quiet when ALIE wasn't speaking almost uncomfortable. The only other time she'd been this alone was straight after the fall of Mount Weather, and she hadn't been in the best frame of mind, had wanted to be alone. Now though, when isolation wasn't a choice, it felt different. Wrong. Before she'd always known that when she was ready to go back, she could. That she would be welcomed with open arms.

At least when she got to Arkadia she would know what happened to Jasper, Monty, and Harper. Surely they'd seen reason by the end and headed to Polis.

She was about two hours out from Arkadia when she stumbled across the first set of bodies. Even in the dim light she could see enough to make her queasy. Radiation burns covered their hands, blistered their faces. She shivered as she moved around them. It was bad when a healer felt ill over something like this. These people hadn't stood a chance. Which meant the radiation levels were rising rapidly.

"How long until Praimfaya hits?" Clarke asked.

"My best estimation is three hours and forty-two minutes," ALIE answered.

Three hours and forty-two minutes until the big reveal. Clarke checked her skin for the hundredth time. Slightly irritated, but no blistering.

Clarke didn't even slow for the second set of bodies, or the third. A hunting party and a family, Trikru. There was nothing she could do for them. She was moving past them when she heard something. Just a rustle, really, but there was no wind this deep into the trees, and no animals, so it caught her attention. She stopped and waited.

There it was again, followed by a tiny whimper.

Was that? It couldn't possibly be.

She turned back, facing the bodies, and stopped. There it was again. Cautiously she moved forward, feeling for the pistol she'd kept in her pocket since the grounder attack that had probably saved Roan's life. Hopefully anyway, if the wound got taken care of soon enough. She wouldn't have been able to get him to go back on her own, she knew that now.

She leaned down over the first body, a man. Nothing looked out of place. Moving on to the second, she scanned the area around her, keeping her eyes open.

Two children, and then a woman, probably their mother.

"There, Clarke. Under her cloak."

Clarke stepped closer and squatted awkwardly, keeping as much weight off her leg as she could. "What, ALIE? I don't see anything."

ALIE bent down too, like that could help her see. She pointed. "There."

Clarke reached forward and grabbed the hem of the woman's winter cloak and threw it off her. A small figure jerked beneath it, trying to bury itself into it's mother.

A child.

How? How could she still be alive? Clarke rocked back on her heels and held her palms up, trying to not look intimidating. "Hi. I don't want to hurt you," she said in Trigedasleng.

At the sound of her voice, the little face popped out of hiding, and the tiny girl studied her, dark eyes intense. She cocked her head to the side, but didn't say anything.

Could she say anything? She wasn't very old. Two at the most, though Clarke hadn't been around a lot of kids to be good at guessing. Two year olds talked, right?

"She should be able to communicate, at least some," ALIE answered her thoughts.

Clarke slowly put a hand out. The girl studied it for a moment, then placed her hand in Clarke's. It was freezing. The kid wouldn't have survived much longer out here on her own. She shrugged off her outer coat and wrapped the child in it, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her, trying to warm her up.

Surprisingly the girl didn't resist. She watched her mother's corpse intently, as if waiting for her to get up, but she leaned into Clarke's warmth tightly. It took a moment of Clarke rubbing her hands up and down her arms, but eventually the kid started to shiver. That was good. Once past the point of shivering, things got dangerous.

"You're okay, sweetie. Everything is going to be fine now. I got you."

ALIE looked at her, a strange expression on her face.

"What?" Clarke asked.

"It is illogical to bring her with us. She will only slow us down, and you do not need the distraction."

All of the good will that had been building up toward the AI went out the window. Was she really suggesting she just leave a child to die?

ALIE must have felt her instant anger, because she continued. "Your leg, Clarke. While you may not be able to feel the pain, the damage is still there. You could injure yourself further, with the extra weight."

Clarke looked down at the girl, who was eyeing her curiously. Did she wonder why Clarke was talking to thin air? Did kids that young wonder about stuff like that?

"She's one of my subjects. She's owed my protection."

ALIE considered that for a second. "You are correct. I apologize."

Clarke sighed. It wasn't ALIE's fault that her programing didn't extend to human emotions. Hopefully she would learn, otherwise living however long with the AI in her head was going to be frustrating.

"Kid, we need to go," Clarke said, shuffling to stand, trying not to groan at the added weight.

The child looked at her in alarm and grabbed her around the neck, nearly choking her.

"No, no, it's okay," Clarke soothed. "I'm not going to leave you. You're safe."

The kid just kept staring. She couldn't keep just calling her 'the kid,' but what should she call her? She had plenty of time to think about it.

"Lead the way, ALIE." She adjusted the weight in her arms, sliding the kid over to her good side, and started off after the AI. She'd only gotten a few steps before the child started to thrash around in her arms.

"What in the world?" Clarke huffed out. "You need to be still. I can't carry you like that."

The kid let go of her neck and reached her arms out behind Clarke.

"Nomon!" she wailed, her tiny voice loud in the dark.

Tears pricked Clarke's eyes. But now was not the time. If anything hungry was left alive out there, whatever it couldn't help but hear this ruckus. And it wasn't like Clarke was up to a fight right now. Or even able to run away.

"Shhh, shhh now." She patted her back, trying to imitate things she'd seen on old earth movies. Right now she was wishing she'd spent more time with babies on the Ark. Or anywhere, really, she had almost no experience with this.

Well the only thing that was going to make this better was to get the poor kid away from the remains of her family. Clarke trudged forward, even more bone weary than before. So many families torn apart. So much death. She looked down and the little face was looking back, eyes bright with tears. So much death, and yet here, life. She had to be a Nightblood. It was the only explanation for why she was still alive with the radiation levels rising so rapidly.

The wailing had died down to sniffles. It wasn't long before the child started to droop. She had to be exhausted. At least her tiny body was no longer giving off cold air.

She shifted her to a new position and barely got a reaction. The kids eyes drifted closed, snapped open and then closed again. It was only a moment before she was totally out.

Now what? She couldn't keep calling her 'the kid.' But what should she call her? She'd never even had a pet to name before, let alone a person that would hopefully have to use it for a good long time. A wave of protective feelings hit Clarke square in the gut. No hopefully. This little girl was going to grow up, become a beautiful adult. She had to.

Clarke looked down at her little face, slightly flushed from being so warm after the deep cold. There was only one person she could think to name her after. Her father's mother. A warm, kind, loving woman, who opened her heart to anyone. Her father had taken after her so much.

Fine. It was settled then.

Clarke moved her to free one of her arms and found one of the little hands hidden deep under her coat. The fingers instantly wrapped around hers, the grip so tight for such a tiny human.

"I'll protect you. Keep you safe. Your life is going to be a good one, I promise." She nuzzled the fuzzy hair with her nose. "We'll always have each other. I'll teach you everything I know."

"What will you call her?" ALIE asked from ahead.

Clarke smiled. "Her name is Madi."

 **So I don't remember Jake's mother actually ever being mentioned in the show. If I'm wrong, please correct me!**


	14. Chapter 14

Somehow by looking at the stars she automatically knew that it was almost four a.m. She could get used to automatically knowing things she hadn't before. No wonder the grounders treated their Heda like he or she was all-knowing. But four in the morning? When was the last time she'd eaten? Her stomach cramped at the thought. If she'd known she was going to try to live, she would have grabbed her saddlebag off the mare before leaving her. But it hadn't seemed worth the extra weight at the time. She looked down at the dead weight in her arms. When had Madi last eaten? And what did kids this age eat?

She sighed. Hopefully something had been left behind at the remains of the Ark. She didn't feel up to hunting, and didn't really have the time. This time of year there wasn't much to forage. Plus, what would she do with the kid? Madi. What would she do with Madi while she tried to hunt?

She trudged forward, the ache in her leg getting worse, even with the nerve blockage ALIE had so conveniently provided.

Finally she burst through the treeline. The moon gleamed off the metal of the ring, almost like a beacon calling her home. Amazing that such a place had become home, but it had. Would Polis ever have the same pull for her? That depended on if she found a way to survive this.

Moving down the slight incline into the valley was not fun. She hissed in a breath. Her leg should be propped up right now, to help with the swelling, not carrying her miles and miles. But, such was life on the ground. In a couple hours she'd be dead or she know that she could survive, and she'd care for it then.

The lights were still on inside the shell of the Ark. Either they'd left them on, or someone was still here. _Please, please just let them be gone._

The gates were open, swaying in the slight breeze. A good sign, really. No rover sitting in the yard either. Which was both good and bad. Good, because hopefully it had been used to haul people to Polis. Bad, because it would have been nice to have.

First order of business was to find something to drink. Then eat, then find somewhere she could ride out the initial blast of Praimfaya with Madi. Then rest. So much rest.

The little girl wiggled in her arms. It had taken them much longer to get here than it should have, but it was worth it. Not only was her good leg mostly numb, but she'd lost the feeling in her arms over an hour ago. Madi was tiny, but still so much weight right now.

She stumbled up to the main door into what was left of the Ark. The cafeteria wasn't far. The warmth seeped into her, almost too much with all the heat Madi was giving off, cuddled up to her chest. This was good. They could survive here through the winter, depending on what was left after Praimfaya went through.

Then she literally stumbled across the first body. She reeled backward, away. No. The rover was gone. Someone had convinced the group that stayed behind to go to the bunker. They had to. She scrambled forward and rolled the body over. One of the hundred. A guy she hadn't spent much time with, but her stomach clenched anyway. To have been through so much, only to end like this.

Nearly frantic, she moved past him and pushed into the cafeteria. Bodies littered the room.

"No!" she yelled, hardly noticing it being out loud. Wildly she searched the room, nearly vomiting with each face she recognized. Why? Why would they do this when there was an alternative?

Tears dripped down her face. The kid started to stir in her arms, no doubt feeling her agitation.

"I'm so sorry, Clarke," ALIE's voice barely registered.

No Monty. No Harper. No Jasper. Had they taken the rover? She picked apart the room, looking for them. And then there he was. Jasper. Sweet, dorky Jasper. Yes, in the last year he'd changed. But that had been her fault. She'd murdered the one person who saw him as more than just a good guy. She'd ruined his chance to truly love.

She dropped down beside him, sliding Madi to the ground and pulling him over. Tears rained down her face, landing on his still, slack one. This was her fault. Just like so many other things. She buried her face into his cold chest and wept.

After a moment, a tug on her coat caught her attention. She sat up, eyes blurry. Madi was standing there, doing the quiet stare she was so good at, her hand on Clarke's coat.

Clarke scrubbed her face with her sleeve. "It's okay, little one. It's going to be okay."

Madi silently held out both arms and Clarke gathered her close. Had she truly saved this child, or was the child saving her? She breathed in the little kid smell and held her close.

Once she was able to get herself under control, she sat her back on her feet and stood slowly, holding out her hand. "I'm sorry Madi, but I'm tired. Can you walk a bit?"

The little girl gripped her hand tightly, and toddled along beside her as Clarke moved them toward the counter where the food was kept. There wasn't a bounty, by any means, but some of the heavier food items had been left behind.

"Look at this, time to eat!" She kept her voice light, shoving the pain of death down where it always waited, looking for a weak moment to jump out and attack. She popped a can of some weird looking food open and fumbled around until she found a spoon. "Let's take this somewhere else, shall we?" she asked Madi. She may be Wanheda, Commander of Death, but seeing the child surrounded by corpses was too much.

She took Madi's hand again, and they headed for the medical bay. It would do for now. "Any ideas on where to go to find shelter before the radiation wave hits?" she asked ALIE.

The AI popped up beside her. What had made her leave? Did death make her uncomfortable, or Clarke's reaction to it?

"If the airlock is still as intact as the last time you saw it, that would be the most likely thing to shield us enough to survive," ALIE answered. "It isn't the radiation we have to worry about as much as the flames and storm that are bound to come with it."

ALIE was reading her memories. Of course she was. If she had all of the previous Commander's memories, why would she not have Clarke's? Still, it was an uncomfortable thought. ALIE knew every one of her most private moments.

"Yes, but unless you wish to talk about them, I will never bring them up." Her voice was almost gentle. Maybe she could learn to feel.

"Let's get some food in us then, and pack the airlock with whatever supplies we can find. We don't have long."

"I estimate twenty-six minutes at this point."

Clarke let go of Madi's hand for a second and rubbed her face. Twenty-six minutes? Eating would have to wait. Again. She picked up Madi and rushed to the airlock. If it could keep out the vacuum and cold of space, surely it could keep them safe from Praimfaya.

She sat Madi down inside and squatted to her level. "I'll be right back, I promise. I can't carry you and everything we need at the same. I'll hurry, as fast as I can." She turned to ALIE. "Can you watch her?"

"I'm sorry, Clarke, but I go where you go. If I had a choice, I would do as you ask."

Of course. That made sense. She could probably only see, feel, and touch the world through Clarke. "Let's make this quick then." She stepped outside the door and punched the button. Madi instantly began wailing on the other side. Clarke winced, but she couldn't let that slow her down. She sprinted back to the cafeteria, grabbing everything useful in sight. The first trip was mostly food, then blankets, clothes, and a bucket.

One last glance said everything useful was gone. She ran as fast as she could to the med bay, tears springing to her eyes yet again when she went past the airlock and heard Madi's cries. The med bay had been picked nearly clean. A few vials of medication were left, but not much. If Abby had been here nothing would have been left behind, but she'd been in Polis and someone else must have overseen moving everything.

Wait. A radio! Engineering was on the other side of the Ark, but she had time. She might be able to get in touch with the bunker. Why hadn't she thought of this sooner? She tore off, ignoring the searing pain in her leg, making it past the nerve block. Hopefully she wasn't creating permanent damage.

Engineering was gone, every piece, even the junk. Whoever had been through here had been much more thorough than the rest of the sections. She allowed herself to slump against the wall, just for a second. No contacting Polis then. No checking to see if Echo had found Roan, if they'd made it back.

The sunrise caught her attention out the window. Wait. That wasn't the sun. A wall of fire, barreling their way. Clarke froze, her heart hammering in her chest. She vaguely thought the roaring starting in her ears was from her heart crashing, trying to escape. But it wasn't. It was the roar of Praimfaya, destroying life, wrecking the world as she knew it.

"Clarke!" ALIE materialized in front of her, waving her hands in Clarke's face. "Run!"

Clarke snapped out of the near hypnotic state the sight of the flames had put her in. Run, she had to run. For Madi, locked in that airlock, all alone. She ran, faster than she'd ever run in her life, nearly bouncing off walls when she made turns too tightly, scrambling to not trip over stuff dropped by what was left of her people as they left for Polis.

Her skin started to burn. Not the radiation, just the heat from the fire licking behind her. She slammed her palm into the airlock button, hitting it over and over until the door slid open. She jumped through the gap and hit the button on the other side, the doors slamming shut straight on her heels.

Madi's mouth was open in a full bodied lament, but Clarke couldn't hear her over the sound of Praimfaya slamming what was left of the Ark around them. She grabbed the little girl to her chest and pulled them down, huddling in a corner, doing her best to sooth Madi. Watching the world burn out the small window in the airlock.

Watched as once again, her entire life changed.


	15. Chapter 15

Clarke slowly opened her eyes. Dark. Not black, but dim.

"What time is it?"

ALIE was already there, and Clarke could feel that she'd been waiting for her to wake up.

"Eleven forty-seven, a.m." ALIE answered. "You were exhausted and I thought it best to let you sleep."

Eleven forty-seven? Then why was it still dark? She shifted Madi off her chest, the poor kid was sleeping again, and shuffled to the small window.

It looked like twilight out there. Dust and ash floated in the air, obscuring the sun. Her chest clenched. Was there anything left out there? Anyone? Had the bunker held? She would have to wait a year to find out. An entire year, not knowing. Were there trees left? Animals? The animals did seem to fare much better against the radiation than humans. If not, what were they going to eat? Were the streams and lakes poisoned by the radiation?

"Take a deep breath," ALIE said. She could almost feel her rubbing her back, trying to calm her down. "In through your nose, out through your mouth."

Clarke let out a little snort. "You got that from me."

ALIE smiled. "Yes. I did gain quite a bit of medical knowledge when we joined. I had the book knowledge before, but it's different to feel the experience for myself."

That made sense. Clarke breathed deep, controlling the urge to freak out. It wouldn't do any good. How long before they could leave this airlock? It was beginning to feel like being stuck on the Ark, only worse.

Plants were resilient. They would eat bark if they had to. Or go to the coast and she'd learn how to fish. They had plenty of time before they would need to head back to Polis. Plenty of options. She moved over to use the bucket. Madi stirred a little over by the wall. It was going to be interesting keeping a little one entertained for the next day or so before they could go outside.

Next order of business, lunch.

Time went by slowly stuck inside. Without ALIE there to keep track of the seconds as they went by, she wouldn't have known what time it was at all. They agreed that forty-eight hours should be enough time to let things settle before it would be safe to go outside.

Clarke passed the time entertaining Madi. She'd gotten a small smile out of her, but wanted so badly to hear her giggle, to hear her say something. Other than calling for her mother when Clarke had taken her away, she hadn't said a word, made a sound.

Even ALIE was starting to be enamored by the little one, giving Clarke suggestions on how to make her smile. Whether her change of attitude came from her connection to Clarke and Clarke's growing love for Madi, or she would have had those feelings come up anyway, Clarke had no way of knowing.

Madi didn't seem to be overly found of the food Clarke had taken the time to grab before Praimfaya hit, but she ate it, no doubt nearly starving.

The first night wasn't horrible. Both her and Madi were warm, full, and exhausted, so sleep came easily. When she woke ALIE informed her it was eight a.m. Outside was still overcast, with a strange reddish glow. She shivered. If she hadn't made it to Arkadia with Madi…

The kid whimpered in her sleep and Clarke limped back over, settling in close. She pulled her pant leg up, finally having both the time and light to look at her leg. It was impressive really, bruised an ugly black. It made sense that it would look different with her blood being a different color. There wasn't anything that wouldn't heal on its own, with time. Though that deep of bruising would take awhile to fully heal.

The day came and went. Clarke playing little games with Madi, singing the alphabet to her. Never too young to start, right? The little girl still hadn't said a word, but the occasional small smile crept across her face, only egging Clarke on. What would the grounders think if they saw their Heda, their Wanheda, acting so goofy to get a kid to smile? She pushed that thought back. They might not even be alive. No reason to think about it.

Night fell, and only talking with ALIE kept Clarke from having a panic attack. She couldn't even pace without hurting her leg, and though her body was still tired even with all the rest, her mind could not be slowed. She dozed on and off, but was still awake when the sun started to rise.

This morning it was looking better outside. Absolute devastation, yes, but the ash was settling.

"We need to get out of here, or we're going to die of the smell," Clarke said to ALIE. The bucket was getting full, and she was running out of rags to use as diapers.

ALIE cocked her head in that odd way that meant she was thinking. Then she laughed. "I turned off my sense of smell yesterday."

Clarke gaped at her. "You can do that?"

ALIE full out grinned. "Yes."

"Can you do it for me?"

"Yes, but do you think that's wise? If you don't know of danger because you miss a smell, something could happen to the child." ALIE always called Madi the child, never referring to her by her name. But this was good. She was showing concern for the kid. That wouldn't have happened even yesterday.

"True. How long until we can try opening the door?"

"I see no harm in opening it now," ALIE answered.

Clarke nearly squealed in a very un-Heda like way, and jumped to the door. She regretted her quick movement when a little head popped up off the nest of blankets she'd made. "It's okay, Madi. We're getting out of here!"

She punched the button on the wall to open the door. Nothing happened. Her heart leapt into her chest. She hit it again. No. No! They weren't going to stay trapped, weren't going to die in here.

"Clarke, calm yourself." ALIE stepped in front of her, looking like she wanted to grab her. "It's okay, the power is off to the door. You'll just have to open in manually." She nodded toward a handle set off to the side.

Oh. Well that was embarrassing. "Thanks," Clarke muttered. She grabbed onto the handle and turned. It turned much easier than the one back at the plant. The door creaked open, letting in a rush off cold air. The nasty smell of burnt… everything, followed.

She finished cranking the door open and took a small step outside, keeping a close eye on her skin. She felt something go over it, almost like static electricity, but then it was gone. Maybe it was her imagination.

Something tugged on her pants and she looked down. How were kids so fast? She was going to have to get better at making sure Madi stayed at the forefront of her mind now that they were going back out into the big bad world. Maybe it had been a bad idea to open the door so soon, maybe she should have given her leg another day or two to heal. No. She just couldn't stay in that tiny space any longer.

How were the rest of the Sky People doing? They were used to living in tight, cramped quarters. But it hadn't taken them long being on Earth to get spoiled, to know what it was like to be able to move freely, breathe deeply.

And the grounders? They didn't do well with being told they couldn't do something. She didn't envy the job she'd left to Octavia, keeping them all in line for a year.

She dropped her forehead to Madi's. A year. Only her and this baby, out here in the barren landscape. She sucked in a breath and squared her shoulders. She'd lived through worse. And so had everyone in the bunker. They would be fine. In a year when they opened that door, she'd be waiting. There, with her new daughter.

The thought made her smile. "Is that true, Madi? Are you mine now?"

The kid looked like she was listening. The side of her mouth tipped up at the sound of Clarke's voice. Yes, they would be fine, just the two of them.

"Three," ALIE said, ghosting right through her. "Don't forget me."

Clarke smiled at her. "Of course. Three. First things first. It's time for a game plan."

"Agreed," ALIE said. "I believe it would be best to move toward the ocean. Fish would seem to be the best source of food after the radiation wave, and climates tend to be more mild near large bodies of water. I estimate around a hundred miles will get us somewhere we can live for the winter, and then come back to build a shelter and prepare for the next."

A hundred miles? With her leg injured?

"It is far Clarke, but your average mile per hour before your injury was five, higher than most. With your leg impeding your walking ability, say cutting your speed in half, I estimate we could be at the coast in ten days."

"That's a lot of estimating," Clarke muttered under her breath.

ALIE cocked an eyebrow like she was the mother and Clarke the mouthy teen. "Even with more frequent stops because of the child, it shouldn't take us more than fifteen days. Well worth the three months we should stay there before heading back."

It all made sense, but did she truly want to leave here? Seeing the ocean would be absolutely amazing, but what about the people here? Her family? What could she do for them though, really. Madi had to be her first priority, and if the most likely place for them to survive this winter was the coast, so be it. Winters here were brutal, difficult to survive alone, she knew because she'd done it. Mostly by herself anyway, she had been able to trade.

The thought of trying to keep Madi alive here was terrifying. And the thought of losing her…

She went back into their little prison. No time like the present to get started. She knew a cave, a good twenty miles away, that would do for them to spend the night in. ALIE may have over-estimated her speed, considering she was going to be carrying a kid and supplies, but they should be able to make it before nightfall, and it would be a great shelter. There may even be supplies still there, from when she'd left them in case of emergencies.

After sitting Madi down, she went to work fashioning a makeshift sling to hang Madi in, and packing the lighter rations and blankets into a tied blanket to carry over her back.

They would have to take frequent rest stops, but they should stay warm enough while moving.

"Ready?" she asked ALIE.

"Ready. I wish I could carry some of that for you."

Clarke grunted as she lifted Madi and tied her to her chest using the sling she'd made out of blankets. "Me too."

She struggled a couple steps, then fell into a rhythm. Madi took in the world around them, content to be warm against Clarke.

They got to the ridge at the treeline and Clarke paused, turning to look down on the remains of Arkadia. What had survived the crash to Earth was now just scorched, twisted metal. Goodbye to yet another home. And not just to her home.

"Goodbye, Jasper," she whispered, now that she had a second to mourn. "Until we meet again."


	16. Chapter 16

Too many times stopping to count, plus the slow pace put them much farther behind than ALIE had anticipated. Apparently she'd forgotten to factor in that Clarke was human, and an exhausted human at that. That, coupled with the fact that the nights fell early had Clarke worrying they weren't going to make it to the cave by nightfall.

The trees here were blackened, though not as devastated as back at Arkadia. Maybe traveling toward the coast had been a good idea, but also maybe they wouldn't have to travel as far as ALIE had said before finding somewhere viable to spend the winter, either.

She moved toward the cave cautiously when she got close. The radiation had only made things like the Pauana stronger before Praimfaya. Were there other creatures like it out here, lurking in the trees? Predators like that would be even more hungry, even more angry after Praimfaya destroyed the normal food chain.

Everything seemed quiet as she slowly entered the mouth of the cave, pistol up and ready.

She dug around for a moment near the entrance, until she found the flint she'd hidden there, almost a lifetime ago it seemed. The torch was still there as well, though slightly damp. She struck the flint and a spark of light slipped off and hit the ground. She struck again and again until the torch finally took. She held it for a moment, not even using it for light, just heat. As the sun had set, the great outdoors had gotten cold. So cold.

The cave was deep, much deeper than she had originally thought when she'd stumbled into it in a rainstorm awhile back. She'd never explored it's depths, only used the entrance, and a small branch off to one side.

Madi whimpered in her little cocoon, actually sticking her face out for the first time in awhile. Apparently the kid did not like the cold. Who could blame her?

The little chamber she'd used to stay in looked the same. She let a little cry of happiness when she saw that the wood she'd collected and left here was still stacked neatly along the back wall. She untied the sling carrying all the extra supplies and let it thump to the ground, but kept Madi close. The cave was markedly warmer, but still not warm enough for the child by herself.

Her hands trembled a little as she stacked the wood and used the torch to start a much-needed fire. The wood was good and dry, and the fire burst to life easily, instantly warming the small room.

"Look at this, Madi! We're going to sleep well tonight!" She let Madi out of her sling, but kept her hand, tugging her over to the back of the room. Something had dug around in her food stash. She sighed. Disappointing, but not unexpected. The dried meats were gone. She held the torch closer. But the sealed box with the dried fruit and nuts still looked good.

She put the torch out in the floor of the cave and grabbed the box, hauling it over to the fire. She had to pry the top to get it to open, but the contents were so worth it. She nearly clapped in joy.

"Look at this ALIE! Real food!"

"The items you brought from Arkadia are not real food?" The poor AI looked confused.

"Technically, yes, they feed us just fine, but this food actually tastes like it was meant to be eaten!"

She popped a handful of nuts in her mouth. Not as good as fresh, but they'd do. "Want to try some of this?" she asked Madi.

Madi held out her hand and waited.

"So polite," Clarke cooed. "You're such a good girl." She tore a berry in half and gave it to Madi, who popped it in her mouth.

The kid chewed slowly for a second, then faster. She held her hand back out.

"Good, huh?" Clarke asked. She gave her the other half.

It was gone right away.

"More already? Let's get somewhere more comfortable." She pushed the blankets into a pile near the fire and settled in, propping her leg up. Madi instantly came over and plopped down beside her. Later she'd have to go get some snow to melt and change Madi's diaper, but for the moment it wouldn't hurt to just sit.

Admittedly it was stalling. But she couldn't carry all the food that she had stored here, so there really was no reason to leave. Plus the little cave was cozy. She'd taken Madi exploring down a couple of the tunnels she knew were safe, and had found a small spring.

Her body was still exhausted, and this small stop was good for everyone. She didn't know much about the territory farther on, and the thought of stumbling through trying to find a place to stay until spring was daunting.

But the lack of animals was even more daunting. They probably had two more days before they should leave to find a source of food. During the day she packed Madi in her little sling and roamed the nearby woods, a little at a time. No sign of life so far. Were they the only living beings left? No, because the others were fine, tucked away safely in the bunker, just waiting until the time passed and they could come out.

Somehow the creatures had survived the last apocalypse. They were out there, somewhere. It didn't help her now, but she'd need them in the future, so she refused to believe Praimfaya had wiped them all out.

The third night she settled in by the fire, going through the nightly routine with Madi. The little girl was becoming much more animated, happier, like a kid should be. She bounced around the cave, played with pebbles, threw sand. But she was quiet. So quiet for a young child.

After supper and a diaper change, Clarke pulled her in close and sang her a lullaby. It wasn't long before her eyelids were drooping. Clarke followed quickly.

"Clarke," ALIE hissed."

Clarke's eyes popped open. The fire had died down and the room was still.

" _What?"_ she asked internally, instinctively not wanting to speak out loud without knowing why the AI woke her.

"Don't move yet, but there is someone in here."

Clarke had to physically keep herself from bolting upright, completely awake. Someone was in here? Someone, not something? Another person had somehow survived Praimfaya! Now she just needed to figure out their intentions. The fact that they were sneaking around wasn't a good sign.

" _You're sure it's a person?"_ she asked ALIE. The embers from the fire let off enough light that she could see something walking on two legs, crouched over.

"Yes," ALIE answered out loud. No worries about her spooking whoever it was.

Now what? Sit up and scare them? Wait and see what they wanted? The figure was stealthily moving toward her food stores. Oh no they wouldn't.

"Hey!" she shouted, sitting up. "That's ours!"

She jumped up, rolling Madi away. "Watch her," she yelled to ALIE and jumped toward the streak of dark heading for the exit. If she let whoever it was go, they'd be back, and maybe it would be while she was gone. She tackled the shadow, knocking them both to the ground.

"Let me go!" a young voice yelled.

She flailed around until she found something to grab onto. A wrist. She pulled him along after her moving to the light of the fire.

It was a young boy, probably only twelve or so. Bone thin, and shivering, whether from fear or from the cold she couldn't know. Instantly she felt bad for scaring him. "It's alright. You're fine, I'm not going to hurt you. Just tell me your name."

He eyed her suspiciously, not answering but sidling closer to the fire. So at least part of the shivering was cold.

"Sit," she shoved him toward the rock she'd rolled close to the fire to prop her leg up on and moved to get more wood, keeping herself between him and the entrance way. Her mind reeled. How had this kid lived through Praimfaya? He had to be a Nightblood to be out here, in the radiation. Did that mean there were more? How had he not been in Polis at the time of the conclave?

She stacked a few pieces of wood on what was left of the fire, letting the flames build quickly. She studied the boy out of the corner of her eye as she poked the embers. Madi came over and hid behind her shyly peeking out at the boy.

"So? You hungry?"

The boy glared at her, then looked longingly toward the nuts and dried berries she'd left out.

"You can have some. But I'd really like to know your name." She dropped the stick she'd been poking at the fire with into the flames. "I'm not telling you that you can't have any unless you tell me, but it would only be polite."

He stared at her a moment. "Jarious."

"See, Jarious, that wasn't so hard, was it?" She stood from the crouch she'd been in and moved over to the food slowly, Madi not letting go of her leg for a second.

"He is severely underweight, Clarke," ALIE said. "I believe he was hungry even before the radiation wave hit."

So the kid had probably been on his own for awhile. Oh great, now she was really going to have to remember to call Madi by her name instead of 'the kid.' She grabbed a handful of food and walked over to Jarious. He held his hands out, face almost angry. She dropped the nuts in and he devoured them, all in one bite.

Well this wasn't going to work. Clarke nodded to the food cache. "Have at it. Just don't make yourself sick."

Jarious stared at her for a moment, like he thought maybe this was some kind of trick, then bolted toward the food.

She studied him while he ate. She was going to have to stop him if he ate too much, he really would make himself sick. And they needed that food. What was she going to do with him though? She couldn't just leave him here. But she really didn't need another mouth to feed.

"Okay, kid, that's enough," Clarke said after Jarious had gorged himself for a minute. Maybe she should revise her guess of twelve and change it to thirteen. Teenage boys were notoriously hard to keep fed. But he would be able to help carry things, and maybe, eventually, she would be able to trust him to watch Madi for short periods of time while she went hunting, or fishing.

Jarious looked offended that she'd asked him to stop, but he listened.

" _ALIE, can you watch him even when I'm asleep?"_

" _I cannot 'watch him' per say, as your eyes will be closed, but I can sense him and hear."_

" _Great."_

"Do you want to spend the night here? Where it's warm? I'll let you have more food in a bit, I just don't want you to get sick."

Jarious thought for a second, looked longingly at the food again, then nodded.

Clarke grabbed some of the extra blankets and made him a little pallet next to the fire. He sank into it, but kept his eyes on her.

Clarke moved back to her set of blankets, still awkward with a little girl glued to her leg. She settled in and Madi climbed into the blankets with her, cuddling close but keeping an eye on the intruder.

"Do you want to talk?" Clarke asked after a moment of silence. She didn't really know if to start asking some of the questions she had for him or not. She didn't want him to feel like she was grilling him.

"No," came his short answer.

"Fair enough." Time to get some sleep. Tomorrow stood the chance of being a huge day. Did Jarious showing up change the plan to leave for the coast tomorrow? Her leg was starting to feel better and the food here wouldn't last forever. If she could trust the kid to care for Madi, she could travel in bigger circles to see if there was any sign that animals had survived the blast of fire that had went through. The fact that this kid had, somehow on his own, gave her hope.

Ah well, time enough to think about it in the morning. For now, she just needed sleep.

"Clarke," ALIE hissed, waking Clarke up for the second time in one night. This was getting ridiculous.

 _"What?"_

"It's the other kid, he's going through the food again."

Clarke cracked open an eye and watched Jarious sneak toward the food stash. Understandable, with as skinny as he was. She could spare a little more.

But the kid started filling his pockets. She watched in silence as he filled them to the brim, then stuck to the wall, in the shadows, moving toward the tunnel that led outside.

Okay, enough was enough. If he was just going to eat it, fine, but he wasn't going to steal from her. She slid Madi over out of the way quietly, then jumped to her feet and practically tackled Jarious, throwing them both into the wall.

They struggled for a moment, but it didn't take Clarke long to get the upper hand.

"Let me go!" Jarious yelled. Déjà vu.

"No. What were you doing with my food?"

The boy went limp. "None of your business!" He waited until she loosened a little, then struggled even harder.

"It is my business, because like I said, it's my food."

Jarious went limp. He swiped at his eyes. Was he… crying?

Clarke rolled off of him and pinned him from behind. "Just tell me. What's going on?"

"My parents told me to never let anyone find out about us. Or we'd be taken, and forced to kill people."

So sad, but he was right. They would have been a part of the conclave, no matter how young. And Ontari would have killed them too. Wait, us?

"What do you mean, us?" Clarke moved back from him a little more, easing her grip now that he'd started to open up to her.

"My little brother." His voice cracked part way through the sentence. He gestured toward the tunnel that went outside. "He's out there, waiting for me. And he's really hungry."

Clarke dropped her head in her hands. Another one. Another mouth to feed, kid to look after. But what else could she do? She couldn't just leave them here to die. Because that was what would happen. "Put all the food back."

Jarious looked defiantly at her for a second, then his shoulders slumped and he shuffled over to the box that held their rations. He emptied his pockets.

"Now go get your brother. Bring him back here. He has to be freezing as well as starving."

The boy's head popped up. "Thank you!" He shot toward the tunnel, turning for just a second. "Thank you!" he yelled again, and then was gone.

Clarke sighed. Wonderful.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" ALIE asked. "One I can understand, it will be difficult but it's good for you to have someone to hold onto, to love. But three?"

Clarke sighed again. Now was not the time for conscious thought, or ALIE would find out that she was asking herself the same question.


	17. Chapter 17

**I am seriously sorry, everyone. Talk about hectic. Life has gotten away with me lol. But here is another chapter! No promises on when the next one is coming, as I obviously can't stick to any kind of timeline I make up for myself lol Merry Christmas! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. To those of you who struggle today, I hope you have peace. I understand a little how you feel.**

The kid Jarious dragged in was slightly better fed, but much more bedraggled than his older brother. He looked like he was around nine, and it was obvious that Jarious had been giving him much larger portions than he kept himself, of whatever food he could find.

"Hi," Clarke said when they walked in.

The new kid jumped forward and grabbed her around the waist, nearly sending her scrambling backward to escape.

"Hi," he said back, his voice muffled from burying it in her stomach.

She looked over to Jarious, who shrugged. Apparently this level of affection was normal. A little bit of a shock after the other two kids.

The kid leaned back to look at her face. "We were so scared we were the only people left. But now that you're here…" he trailed off, catching sight of the food. He just stared.

"Go on, then," Clarke said, shoving him in that direction. He sprinted over and took a handful of nuts. She sighed. Boys ate so much. Jarious was still standing at the entrance to their little room. She waved him over. "What's your brother's name?"

"Thom."

"And you and Thom have been living alone awhile? Before Praimfaya even hit?"

"Yes."

This was going to take forever, getting anywhere talking to this kid. "Why were you in hiding? Did something happen to your parents?"

His face closed off slightly, going wary. "No. My parents were fine. They left us food and clothes in the woods when they could, tried to take care of us. But we couldn't be with them."

"Because you're Nightbloods?"

Jarious looked uncomfortable. A long kept secret was hard to talk about, even once it was in the open.

"We found out when Thom was little and fell. He scraped himself up, bad. Mom saw it and was afraid the Flamekeeper would come and take us away, so they hid us. Those people from Polis are evil. They make kids kill each other."

Well this was awkward. But he didn't need to know right now she was their leader. It wasn't time to explain how she'd gotten there, and that she wasn't a typical Heda. If they all survived this, she was abolishing the conclave anyway. No more death.

"Your parents were wise."

He shifted, watching his brother chew across the cave. "Is that how you were kept away from the conclave? And her?" he nodded toward Madi, who was stirring over in the nest of blankets.

"No really, but I'll tell you about it sometime, okay? It's a long story."

He cocked his head, but nodded.

"A baby!" Thom yelled from the other side of the room. Apparently he'd just noticed Madi, who had sat up and was blinking in the firelight. He rushed over and knelt down beside her, cooing and making her give him a sleepy smile.

"That's not a baby, Thom, that's just a little kid," Jarious told him in a big brother voice. He turned to Clarke. "He doesn't know much about how stuff works since he's lived in the woods most of his life."

A pang hit her. These two had grown up as exiles, just because the color of their blood. Well no more. In Polis they would be treated like royalty once the bunker opened. She couldn't promise them they'd never be cold or hungry again, but she could promise them to care for them to the best of her ability.

"And just like that, we have two more children," ALIE said. At least she sounded resigned and wasn't telling her to leave the boys to die.

The food stores weren't going to last as long as she'd planned. They would have to leave in the morning to make sure they got to the coast in time to replenish their stores. Which meant they needed to sleep.

"Bed time, guys."

Surprisingly Thom and Jarious obeyed instantly, Jarious pulling Thom over to the blankets he'd been sleeping on earlier.

Madi's eyelids were drooping, even after the excitement. Thankfully. She settled in, pulling Madi close.

"Thank you Clarke, for the food," Thom said. How had a kid become so friendly growing up with only his brother out in the woods? Maybe that was why. He craved interaction.

"You're welcome, Thom. Get some sleep. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Admittedly, having Jarious along to carry stuff, and Thom to entertain Madi, was amazing. Madi was strapped over her back now, giggling as Thom walked behind, making goofy faces and handstands in the snow. If only she had his energy. And she appreciated the fact that he was making Madi happy. Not talking she could take, if the giggling kept up.

She jiggled the little girl on her back and was met with another quiet laugh. The first one had almost made her fall over. Apparently Madi liked having other kids along.

They'd spent a day searching for any signs of wildlife, any source of food so they could stay at the cave, but it wasn't to be. Not even footprints in the snow. Day four of their hike was going well. The boys were in good spirits, almost like this was an adventure. Jarious was still much more serious that a boy his age should be, but the harsh conditions of the ground did that to many children.

Jasper being the first that came to mind. So shy. So easy to make happy. She gulped back tears and wiped her eyes without the boys noticing. It would be awhile before she could fully move past that death.

Madi squealed on her back and she smiled. Time to let the dead rest, and focus and those in her care. The ones she could actually make a difference for.

It was on the fifth day that they came across their first village. Clarke left Madi with the boys on the far side of town. There was no reason for them to see this. But she had to check for supplies. And, even less likely, survivors.

It was surreal, walking through the village. Everything was so quiet. No one yelling, no animals. She missed the horses, which was a surprise because they'd always made her a little nervous in the past. Small mounds of snow covered what she assumed were corpses. She didn't stop to check.

A sweep of the houses turned up some winter supplies the villagers no longer needed. She nearly slumped in relief against the closest wall. Their supplies were running low. This should get them to the coast, easily.

It took her two trips, but she hauled what food she could find and replacement rags to use for diapers out to the boys. They repacked when she went for the second load. And she had been afraid they would be a detriment.

It was later that night, when she was gathering wood for a fire that she found them. Little tracks in the snow. "Jarious!" she called. He was over setting up some kindling. He trotted over, and she pointed them out. His face split in a grin, the biggest she'd ever seen.

"Rabbit!"

"Yes!" Of course he knew what he was. There was a chance he was a better hunter than she, his parents had provided what they could, but it was obvious the boy had been the one to do most of the work in keeping him and his brother fed.

He ran back to the packs and pulled out some string she didn't know he had with him. "I'm going to set a snare!" He bounded off.

"Jar- Oh well." How was she supposed to treat these kids? Like her own? With all of the stuff she'd seen on the ground she would never let her own child run off into the woods. But they weren't hers, and they'd been taking care of themselves for a while. She groaned. Why did everything have to be so complicated.

She slid the pack she was carting Madi around in from her back and groaned again, this time for an entirely different reason.

The little girl grinned at her. Her smiles were becoming more and more frequent, but every one of them still warmed Clarke's heart. She tickled the little girl, just for a second. "You are getting too big for this, Munchkin. One of the boys is going to have to start carrying you."

"I can do that!" Thom called, eagerly running over. "I'm really strong!"

His happy, openness never ceased to amaze her. "She'd pretty heavy for a guy your size," Clarke said. She fought the amusement that wanted to bloom on her face, not wanting to embarrass him.

His chest puffed out. "I'm stronger than I look! You'll see!" He tugged at the straps, lifting Madi off the ground a little bit.

" _Let the boy try. His heart is in the right place."_

Clarke almost laughed. ALIE was getting just as attached to the kids as she was. "Okay then, tomorrow. But for now she needs to run around a bit, work out some energy so she'll sleep tonight. Think you can watch her?"

"Sure!" He plonked her down on the ground, making Clarke wince, and proceeded to undo the straps holding her in. She smiled, pulled his hair and then took off.

" _She's starting to act more her age."_

Clarke nodded. The talking would come. She had to believe it would. She moved off, looking for dry wood and piling it in a stack high enough to last the night. With the amount of trees that had been killed by Praimfaya, it wasn't a difficult task.

" _Jari has been gone for some time, Clarke."_

As odd as it was, the voice in her head rarely startled her anymore. Wait, had ALIE just given one of the kids a nickname? Ha, she was co-parenting with an AI that the kids didn't even know about. But ALIE was right. Jari had been gone for an hour and thirty-two minutes, twenty-seven seconds. Being worried now wasn't paranoia, right?

" _Right. And stop thinking so often about me loving the kids now, it makes me uncomfortable. Shall we follow the boy's tracks?"_

No, she definitely wasn't going to stop thinking about it, because it was great. But yes. They needed to go check on Jarious. It was already starting to get dark. "Thom, get Madi packed up, would you?" If it had been Thom wandering around and Jari here, she might have left him with Madi. But Thom didn't seem up to that task.

She stoked the fire, keeping an eye on the kids as Thom did his best to stuff Madi in her little pack. She wasn't co-operating. As she got more comfortable it became more and more obvious that the girl was going to be a handful eventually.

She went over and grabbed Madi, stuffing her into her seat with practiced ease.

"I can carry her!" Thom volunteered, bouncing on his heels.

" _That would leave your hands open,"_ ALIE said. _"Just in case."_

"Okay, come here."

Thom turned around, nearly quivering in excitement. Clarke strapped the pack on his back and he only oomphed a little. He wouldn't make it far, but ALIE was right. She was starting to think something had gone wrong with Jari. She shouldn't have let him go by himself. Or she should have checked on him sooner. But with trying to prepare for the night, feeding the kids, and changing Madi, time had gotten away from her.

At least the snow would actually be helpful right now. She started after Jari, following his tracks, Thom right behind her. He was already puffing a little from carrying Madi. She fought a smile. Some help he would be carrying her tomorrow. At least he seemed to feel the seriousness of the situation and wasn't talking.

That or he just couldn't puff for air and talk at the same time.

They reached the first snare after just a short walk. It was well built, definitely able to do its job.

"Well done, kid," Clarke muttered to herself, then went back to the tracks in the snow. He was fine. Wherever he was, he was totally fine. No need to worry.

ALIE popped into existence beside her, looking down at the tracks too, sharing useless information with Clarke automatically, totally internally. Did she really need to know the distance of his stride?

It wasn't much farther before they came up on a small clearing. In the middle, there were obvious signs of a scuffle. The snow was trampled, and crushed, large sections tamped down.

Clarke pulled her gun and motioned for Thom to stay where he was, not able to stop herself from rushing forward like a fool. Blood. There were bloodstains in the snow.

"Jarious!" Clarke yelled, shoving down the panic trying to claw its way out. "Jarious, can you hear me?"

No answer. "What do I do with the other kids?" Clarke panicked out loud. She couldn't just leave them, couldn't send them back alone. "Jarious!" Still no answer. She glanced over her shoulder at Thom. "Stick close."

Thom nodded, eyes wide.

Hopefully the blood was from a rabbit. ALIE made a noise, telling her she was dreaming. Until she learned otherwise, the blood was from a rabbit. Lying to herself wasn't the wisest thing to do, but at the moment she couldn't consider the alternative. Even before Praimfaya the ground was harsh. Now it was downright deadly. It didn't matter.

"Clarke, you may want to prepare yourself," ALIE said. No doubt she was reading everything Clarke felt.

"No. He's going to be fine." She had claim on the kids now, and nothing was taking them from her. Nothing.

 **So Munchkin is actually what I call my niece, who lives with me part of the week. Somehow it spilled over into this haha**


	18. Chapter 18

**Apologies once again for the length of time between updates!**

Following the droplets of blood made Clarke's stomach heave. She shoved the feeling down for the tenth time, pulling a silent Thom closer. She was taking him and Madi straight into danger. But they would be facing it with her, and if she sent them back they would be facing it alone. If Thom could even find his way.

"Jarious!" She called quietly.

"There is no reason for that, Clarke. If he was within that hearing range, I would know," ALIE said. She didn't sound like her usual know-it-all self, much more resigned. But an A.I.'s opinion didn't matter. Jarious would be fine.

The tracks in the snow were odd, unlike anything she'd seen before. Odd, and worse, huge.

 _Any idea on what these are from?_

" _No, they aren't clear enough in the snow. I'm afraid I'm of no help with that."_

 _Just like with everything else_ , Clarke thought, letting her anger get the bet of her.

The A.I. didn't answer, sending a pang of regret through Clarke. That wasn't fair at all. ALIE had come through for her many times. A pulse of warmth went through her and she knew all was forgiven.

Slowly it was getting darker. It wouldn't be slowly for long. Out here in the trees the nights came quickly. If they didn't find him soon, they wouldn't be finding him. Alive at least.

Soon she was squinting, trying to make out the tracks. The droplets of blood were broken up by occasional splashes. Far too much blood for a rabbit. And far too much blood for a young boy to lose safely.

ALIE stayed quiet, but the footprints in the snow started to come up looking different, almost marked. The A.I. was helping.

They hadn't gone much farther when a snarl stopped Clarke dead in her tracks. She jerked Thom over and clamped a hand over his mouth. He stared at her wide-eyed, but didn't try to say anything. She held a finger to her lips, then nodded to Madi and over to a nearby section of brush. He nodded and hefted the sleepy little girl before heading that way.

Clarke closed her eyes for a second, hating herself for the decision she had to make. But she couldn't take them any farther.

Another snarl split the night, followed by a full on growl.

"There are two creatures, Clarke. I am unable to identify them by sound."

Shoot, shoot, shoot. What was she supposed to do against two creatures, any kind of creatures? She glanced at Thom and Madi.

"The children will die on their own if you are unable to care for them. And Jarious is most likely dead already."

"Shut up," Clarke growled. "I already know that." She gripped her pistol tight and jogged forward, doing her best to keep quiet, moving in places ALIE lit up almost automatically to avoid dry branches and holes.

The moon lit up a small clearing in front of a cave. A small, crumped form lay in front of it.

Clarke clamped her hand over her own mouth to keep herself from calling his name. A tear froze a track down her face.

"Move along the treeline, so we can get a better look," ALIE said, her projected frame straining to see.

 _Is he alive?_ Clarke whispered internally. Whatever had been making that racket couldn't hear ALIE, but they'd surely hear her.

"I can't tell."

The snarling started again and two cat like creatures tumbled out of the cave, locked together, batting at each other.

After a couple rolls, they broke apart. The larger one moved over to Jarious, sniffing. It's face went up to the moonlight and it howled, almost like a wolf. Since when did cats make sounds like that? The light from the moon shone on it enough that Clarke got her first good look at its face. Definitely not feline.

Clarke lifted her gun and moved slowly closer. _What are they?_

"Lexa got reports of these creatures over the last few years. They were thought to be myth. While not as strong as a pauna, they are much faster and travel in packs. Though from what I'd heard, I'd believed them to be much larger. You have to be careful, for the children's sake. They wouldn't last long without us. Without you."

She checked the knife in its sheath on her belt, making sure it was free moving, then stepped forward, the gun pointed directly at the thing now bent down over Jarious. What chance did she stand against two of these?

Maybe not much of chance, but she had to try.

One of the things batted at the still form on the ground. She rushed forward, drawing their attention.

Both of their heads went up at the same time, snapping in her direction.

She stopped, planting both feet and lifted the gun, hands steady.

One of the two took a hesitant step in her direction, the other bolted for the cave. As soon as its friend left its side, the first one charged.

"Shift your aim up two degrees and to the right!" ALIE screamed in her head and out loud, her body popping up beside Clarke.

A small pinpoint appeared on the beast's chest, with lights along the way to help her aim.

A shot cracked out, almost surprising her even though she'd been the one to pull the trigger. The thing dropped.

Clarke ran past it, only glancing at it long enough for ALIE to pronounce it dead.

"Listen for the other one," Clarke told ALIE. She dropped to the ground beside Jarious, rolling him carefully onto his back.

Blood caked his shoulder, frozen to his cloak. His face was whiter than the snow beneath him. His eyes blinked open and she nearly sobbed in relief, pulling him into her arms.

"Clarke?" he rasped.

She clutched him tight for a moment, then laid him back to look him over better.

"I thought you were dead."

He closed his eyes. "Me too."

"Does it hurt anywhere other than your shoulder?"

He didn't get a chance to answer. A strange call came from the nearby trees.

"Oh crap. I'm sorry about this, but we're going to have to get out of here, now."

"Hurts," Jarious mumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

"I know, I'm sorry." She hiked him up and put his good arm over her shoulders, dragging him toward the trees where Thom and Madi were hiding. Thankfully in the opposite direction of the ominous noises.

More sounds came from the woods. Angry yips, from a different direction.

"There are more than one," ALIE said.

"A little obvious," Clarke grunted out, dragging the kid as quickly as she could. He'd put on some weight since they'd started traveling together.

Something burst out of the trees behind her. She dropped Jarious so she could grip the gun with both hands. How many rounds did she have left?

Not many.

This beast looked similar to the others, only it towered over her. Spikes sprouted out of its back, and its mouth couldn't hold all of its teeth.

It bolted straight to the body of the one she'd killed, bent down and shoved it with it's snout, then howled up at the sky in a mournful cry.

Another cry echoed back from the trees.

The thing turned to her then, showing it had known she was there all along.

It crouched back slightly, creeping forward, like it was waiting for something.

 _Now what?_ Clarke yelled internally.

" _It isn't possible to outrun it, not with Jari hurt. But maybe if you get out of its territory, stop being a threat, it will come back to the fallen one. I believe it is the parent."_

Without taking her eyes, or aim, off the thing, she bent down and hooked her free arm under Jari's armpits. He was completely limp and didn't even whimper when she started to drag him. He's probably passed out.

Her breath puffed out in the cold air, the only sound breaking the silence other than the slight scraping as she drug Jari. They were almost to the trees when another one of the things burst into the small clearing from the other side.

This was great. Wonderful. Were there more out there?

"Should you take one out now?"

"No," Clarke huffed. "I don't want to antagonize the other. Maybe they'll let us go."

The second creature took stock of the situation quickly, then stalked across the clearing. So much for them being let go.

One circled right, the other left. Clarke slowly lowered Jarious back to the ground.

The lights to help her aim appeared as soon as she lifted the gun, without her needing to ask. The one on the right lunged. She squeezed off three shots in quick succession. It screeched and leaped at her, dripping blood from its chest. She whirled out of the way and shot at it again, this time burying a bullet in its skull instead of its chest.

It collapsed, but she didn't have a chance to even take a breath before the other one was on her.

The full weight of its body slammed her from the side, knocking her to the ground. She hollered, pulling the knife out and driving it into the beast, hard. No aiming, she pulled the knife free and thrust again.

The beast roared and scrambled away, gushing blood across the crimson snow. It stopped, just out of reach and opened its mouth, revealing a second row of teeth. The roar it let out this time shook the ground.

Her whole body aching from the hit she'd just had, Clarke fired again, missing anything vital. But the creature knew the sound now, and was on her before she could squeeze off another shot.

The foul stench of rotting meat almost overpowered her as the thing went in for the kill. Grateful for the first time that she had a small gun, she fired of two rounds into its mouth, fired until the gun just clicked.

Without much of a head left, the thing crumpled to the ground.

She groaned and forced herself to her feet, limping over to Jarious. He was still breathing.

"There is a village near here, abandoned because of the stories of the beasts in the woods," ALIE said, materializing beside her. "There probably isn't much food, but there should be shelter, and possibly medical supplies."

"Which direction?" Clarke asked, ripping the shoulder of Jari's shirt open. The blood had dried to the shirt, making it stick to whatever wounds were underneath. Ripping it free now would only start the bleeding again. She'd wait until they made it to this village alive before risking it. If they made it.

ALIE pointed.

"And which direction are the kids in?"

Of course, the other way.

She slid her outer cloak off and covered Jarious. "I'm just going for Thom and Madi, Jari. I'll be right back."

He didn't answer. Not even a groan.

She leaned down and put a kiss on his forehead, then headed in the direction ALIE had pointed out, forcing herself forward. The old injury to her leg was protesting the rough treatment from the beast.

The walk back seemed to take forever compared to when she'd left for the clearing. It was a only a minute and a half before she was slammed from the side by a small figure. On instinct she pulled the knife.

Crying stopped her.

"We thought you were dead," Thom wailed, gripping her tightly around the waste. "We heard the loud noises and then everything went quiet and we thought you were dead." His words were running together, the light from the moon glinting off the tears running down his face. She pulled him in for a tight hug.

He sniffled for a second. "Where's Jarious?"

"Back in the woods. We need to go."

Madi started crying on Thom's back.

"Shh, shh. You're okay little one." Clarke held her hand for a second, then started toward Jarious. She would need her strength to pull him to shelter, or she'd have carried Madi herself, just for the comfort it would give both of them.

She rushed them back. There was still one of those things alive. It had seemed like the timid one of the group, but she didn't want Jarious lying there any longer than he had to. If that last creature wasn't still alive, she would have considered just building a temporary shelter over Jarious so she didn't have to move him, but she was out of ammo and not in any shape for another fight.

Once Jarious was in sight, Thom nearly dropped Madi in his haste to get to his brother. Already the falling snow had started to cover the kid.

Clarke trudged over, weary to her bones. Kneeling down, she checked for a pulse.

"Is he…" Thom asked, his voice trembling.

"He's still alive," Clarke answered. Her voice broke. As gently as possible she lifted him, for once thankful that he was still underweight.

Thom burst into tears. She didn't have the energy to console him, so she started forward, trudging through the snow. Hopefully there was something left of this village ALIE was pointing her to, otherwise there was a good chance they were all dead by morning.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

 **Hey Everyone! Should be better at updating now, I finally got my original work to the point I could say that's as good as it gets and put it up on Amazon** **I'm so excited! And scared. But mostly excited. Thanks for sticking with me through this story!**

This wasn't working. Clarke stumbled forward, practically pulling Jarious along the snow. _How much farther?_

" _I estimate a little over a mile."_ ALIE sounded remorseful, like she felt bad about delivering the news. She should. They'd only traveled a little over a half a mile. How could they make it that far?

 _Roan, you had better be okay. You had better have let Echo take care of you, to get you to the bunker. If I survive all this and find out in a year that you died because you're stubborn, I'll… I'll…_ She was too tired to come up with anything, but she'd be really ticked.

The snow had stopped melting where it made its way into her clothes against her skin. Not great. She looked over her shoulder to see how Madi was doing, just in time to watch Thom fall. She leaned Jarious against a tree and moved back to help him.

The wind had picked up, driving snow past so hard she had to shout for him to hear her. "You okay?"

He looked up, all the joy and sparkle that usually covered his face, gone. He nodded, looking like he could hardly get that much done. She pulled him to his feet, checking on Madi. The little girl was sobbing, the wind ripping the sound away but the tears sliding down her cheeks telling the story.

Grabbing Thom by the cloak, she tugged him forward to Jarious. She had to let the boy go to reach down and lift his brother. They weren't going to make it much longer like this.

She slung Jari's arm back over her neck and moved forward, agonizingly slow.

The snow pelted her face, making her eyes water. _ALIE is there any other type of shelter around here? Anything that can just get us through this storm?_

" _Only the cave we left behind."_

The cave. At least it would have stopped the wind, maybe helped them make a fire. But that thing was back there. No matter how timid it had seemed, she wouldn't be a match for it right now if it decided to attack them.

Her eyes drifted closed. Why did they need to make it all the way to the village? The snow looked pretty comfortable here. Soft, almost like a pillow…

"Clarke! Pay attention!" ALIE practically yelled in her ear.

Clarke's eyes snapped back open and she stumbled. No, no, no, being this tired was bad. Really bad. "Just keep talking to me." Thom didn't seem to notice her talking to herself, and Jarious was very out.

"Okay…" ALIE said. For the first time ever, she sounded unsure of herself. "I will try. I'm not sure how to just speak without having a topic of import."

"Just tell me about the Commanders. Start at the beginning."

"Well, you know Becca of course, but then there..."

Clarke tuned her out. Caring about the previous Commanders was beyond her right now. She focused on the rise and fall of ALIE's voice, letting it keep her grounded without using what brain power she had left to decipher the words.

With the low visibility because of the snow whipping through the air, Clarke nearly stumbled off a ledge. She yelped and fell backward, dragging Jari to the ground with her, her right foot falling off the side. The ground was slick. She scrambled to keep herself from going over the edge.

A small tree saved her life. Flailing around, she latched on, pulling herself away from the edge.

"ALIE! What is this? Why didn't you warn me?" she shouted.

Thom started to cry behind her, and Madi began to wail.

"I'm sorry, Clarke, this isn't on any of the maps I've seen!"

Clarke closed her eyes for a second, taking in a deep breath to keep herself from crying. After composing herself for a second, she inched toward the edge and peered over. All she could make out was water churning below.

"Is it a river?" she asked.

"There wasn't one here before." ALIE paused for a second, probably going through records and maps at superspeed. "A good possibility is that the dam a mile to the north broke during Prime Fire, releasing all this water."

Now she wanted to join the kids and cry. She scooted back from the edge and let her head drop to her knees. Now what?

"The only way the kids are going to survive this is if we go back to the cave," ALIE said.

Clarke laughed. She couldn't stop herself. "Go back to the cave we left to trudge through all this mess? Back to the cave where a beast of some kind is waiting to eat us?"

ALIE looked like she'd be crying, if an AI could cry. "Yes. I see no alternative."

Well that settled it. If ALIE saw no alternative, that meant there was a ninety nine percent chance that there was no alternative. She'd leave the kids outside, go in and kill the thing, then bring them in. At least if she died the kids would pass peacefully in their sleep, lulled into slumber by the cold. It was better than being torn to pieces.

Not only was her body numb, but her soul. Of course they would have to go back. Of course she would have to fight some monster to the death. At this point it didn't even seem to matter.

"Let's go."

Silent tears still streaked down Thom's face, but he followed her anyway. The footsteps they'd left in the snow were mostly gone. If ALIE hadn't been there to direct them, Clarke would have never found her way back.

Every once in awhile Jarious stirred. He'd mumble something and then go quiet. At least the cold was slowing his blood flow, giving her longer to get him somewhere she could take care of him.

Too soon they were back in the small clearing. Her gut churned, and she nearly vomited. At the memory of the last time she'd walked into this clearing. She propped Jarious against a tree again, trying to keep his shoulder elevated above his heart. "Stay here. Huddle up," she told Thom.

Pulling the knife, she crept into the small cave. Alone she would have been blind in here. Thankfully she wasn't alone.

The farther she moved into the darkness, the quieter it got, until the wind was gone and the only sound left was her ragged breathing.

So far, nothing.

The farther back she moved, the warmer the air got. And the worse the smell. But no signs of the creature, other than bones littering the floor.

Eventually she made it to a branch in the tunnel. She didn't need to worry about getting lost with ALIE in her head, but she did need to think about the kids sitting out in the snow. Maybe the thing wasn't even in here. Maybe it was out with the bodies in the woods. Which meant she may have left the kids in more danger than just the elements.

She turned and rushed back toward the entrance, nearly sprawling across the uneven floor.

Stumbling through the snow, she heaved a sigh of relief at the sight of the pile of kids. They weren't moving.

"Thom?" she shook his shoulder. "Thom, wake up, we need to get inside."

He grumbled something, but his eyes did open.

Unable to get Jarious all the way up, she drug him toward the cave, Thom struggling to keep up and Madi far too silent.

She pulled and tugged until they were far enough in that the temperature started to rise a little.

"There is old wood on the floor, scattered around," ALIE told her. "It may have been blasted into the cave during Prime Fire, or the creatures may have brought it in, but either way it should do for a fire."

She laid Jarious out, and reached for Thom. She unslung Madi from his back and checked on her. She had snuggled so far into her blankets that her face was barely visible. But she was awake, staring back at Clarke.

"There's a good girl," Clarke cooed, undoing her wet clothes a bit. A fire would be heavenly.

Sitting Madi down on top of Thom, who had snuggled up with Jari, she moved away to start collecting wood.

Madi whimpered as soon as she took a step away.

"She can't see you in the dark," ALIE said, reminding Clarke that even though she didn't hardly notice she was seeing things in night vision anymore, it would be nearly impossible for the kids to see.

"It's okay, Madi. I promise. This will all work out," she rambled on while she collected wood, so the kids knew where she was. Thankfully she didn't have to go far. ALIE watched for movement around them, the two of them not even needing to speak to communicate.

By the time she got her flint out, she was starting to shiver. That was good, except for it made building a fire difficult. Especially when she kept a firm grip on the knife at all times.

The first strike lit up Thom's white face. It went out, and she struck again. After several tries, the bits and pieces of wood finally burst into flame.

Thom made a strangled exclamation of some kind, and scrambled over to the fire.

"Take your wet outer layers off," Clarke told him. She moved over to Jarious. Miraculously, he was awake. Even exhausted, that made her smile. "Hey kid, how are you doing?"

He blinked sluggishly at her for a second. "Hurts," he rasped out.

"I know." She pulled him into a half hug, avoiding anything that could make his pain worse. "I wish I had something to help with that. I do need to take a look."

The poor kid bit his lip, but nodded.

Blood had crusted, freezing his clothes into his wounds.

"Let's get you warmed up a little before I try to get some of this out."

Able to scoot a little, Jarious helped Clarke get him close to the fire. Once settled, his eyes started to droop.

"Are you okay, Jarious?" Thom asked, putting his face into his older brother's.

Jarious nodded, but didn't comment. She'd give him a couple minutes, but then she would need to check and pack his wounds. He was too slight to lose any more blood and survive.

But, while he thawed, she could break out a little of the rations that she'd grabbed back at the campsite before going to look for Jarious. They would all need to replenish the calories their bodies were burning, trying to stay warm.

She closed her eyes, just for a second. Enough to get her bearings, take a breath, and start to hope again.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone! Per usual, thank you all soooo much for the kind reviews** **You are all the reason I keep writing. I'm doing April's Camp Nano, so hopefully that means I'll be doing more writing and less editing! I hate editing anyway, lol. Thanks for sticking with the story. I can't wait until the show starts back up in a few weeks! Happy reading**

Somehow, they'd made it through the night. The beast hadn't bothered them, Jari hadn't coded, and she hadn't died of exhaustion.

It felt pretty good.

The snow outside had settled to just flurries. She only knew because she'd gone to get some to melt. They were all going to be dehydrated, and Jari's wounds needed cleaned. While deep, the punctures in his shoulder hadn't hit anything vital. He'd be in pain for the rest of his life, but he would live.

If he didn't get an infection and she found a way to feed them. Jari wouldn't be good to travel for weeks, and by that time it seemed like a waste to attempt the trip to the ocean. If they could find a source of food here, the cave would do to weather the rest of the bad weeks before spring. If that thing didn't come back. Hopefully it had been scared enough to stay away.

She'd have to go out soon, and set snares, snow or no snow. They had enough to eat for a day or so, but she didn't want to cut it that close.

She prodded Jari's shoulder again, still afraid something vital had been hit that she'd missed.

"You are a well trained medical professional," ALIE said. "And even if you missed something, I would have noticed. He just needs lots of rest, and lots of nutrition."

Lots of nutrition. The never ending struggle.

Satisfied that Jari was just sleeping, Clarke moved back to the fire. She whittled at a piece of wood while Thom and Madi kept each other occupied playing with stones.

The first bowl had been easy, just a depression really, to melt snow into. But this one had to be quite a bit deeper. She'd already given up on two previous versions and tossed them into the fire.

But this one was going better. It was nearly finished. She shaved a bit more out of the bottom, and then a nice chunk off the side. Jari wasn't going to be up to eating dried meat for a little while, so it was time to improvise.

She threw some jerky into the bowl, and then dumped water in on top. Scooting closer to the fire, she grabbed two sticks she'd left there, and dug around in the fire until she found a couple of smooth rocks she'd placed in the coals earlier.

The first rock fell out from between the sticks, bouncing on the floor and moving into the shadows. "Shoot," Clarke hissed.

"What?" Thom asked.

"Nothing."

When he didn't answer, she looked over. He looked ready to cry. These last couple days had taken a huge toll on all of them.

"It's okay, Thom, I'm just figuring some stuff out."

He nodded and went back to stacking small stones with Madi.

The second rock fell too, but stayed in sight. She scooped it up again, and dropped it in the bowl. The water instantly sizzled.

It would be weak, but they would have 'soup' for supper. Or at least a broth that Jari should be able to get down. Hopefully there wasn't too much ash on the stones.

The smell of the food filled the cave, finally overpowering the ever present stench of smoke. Her stomach cramped, threatening to eat itself.

The 'spoons' she'd carved were pathetic, and not worthy to be called that, but at least they could get the job done.

"Thom, time to eat."

"Yes!" the kid yelled, running straight over and leaving Madi blinking after him. "Is it something better than just dried meat? I'm tired of dried meat. This smells better. I hope it tastes better." And he was back, the kid that never shut up. She'd been a little worried he was gone. She would have never thought she'd miss his constant yammering, but she had. There had been plenty to traumatize him, but he had already seen a lot in his young life and had apparently learned to deal with it.

She scooted the wood bowl toward Jari. They only had one, and it was easier to move it to the kid than the kid to it. They also only had two spoons at this point, so Thom would get one and she'd use the other to make sure Jari got his fill before feeding herself. Madi wouldn't get any until it cooled.

While not as nutritious, this soup idea should help them make their supplies last. Should. If it tasted okay, and not too much like gravel.

"I would eat it, if I could eat," ALIE said.

" _Aww, thanks."_ The carving skills ALIE had helped with, but the ways to stretch out the food stores, that she'd learned on the Ark. She dipped out a spoonful and let it cool for a second before putting it to her mouth. Okay, not the best of meals, but it would do.

Jari blinked at her when she slid the 'bowl' in close to him. He was starting to be a little more alert. A good sign. He even helped when she set him up against the wall, grimacing in pain but not making a sound.

"Smells good," the kid mumbled, giving her a half smile. The smile almost broke her heart. Kids were so resilient. Bad things happened, they moved on. It was how she used to be. But those bad things piled on, heavier and heavier, until all it would take was the proverbial straw to break her back.

She held the spoon up to his mouth and he sipped, coughing a little. She adjusted how he was sitting and tried again.

"How is it?" she asked.

He stared at the wall, wide-eyed.

"That bad, huh?"

He studiously ignored her question. She laughed, surprising both of them. "It's okay," she laughed again. "You can tell me." The smile stretching her face felt odd, unfamiliar.

The side of Jari's mouth tipped up. "Yes, that bad."

Clarke laughed again and held the spoon back up to his mouth. He leaned forward and slurped it down, with only a slight grimace.

Thom wiggled his way in and dipped his spoon in. Clarke watched him gulp it down. "Careful, it's hot."

He just grinned and took another spoonful. Apparently he had no problem with the taste.

Jari was done after another couple spoonfuls. She was alright with that. But in a couple days as his strength started to come back, he'd be ravenous. The smile she'd had dropped off her face. She had to find food.

"Madi, honey, would you like some?"

Madi sidled up to her. "Eat?" she asked.

Clarke nearly spewed out the broth she'd put in her mouth. "What's that?" she asked, hoping to hear her voice again.

"Eat?"

A grin split her face. _"Did you hear that?" she asked A.L.I.E_

" _I did, it's wonderful."_ Alie didn't even tease her about the fact that of course she had heard it. If Clarke had heard it, so had she. Clarke decided then and there, it was Alie now. A name. Not A.L.I.E the designation.

A warm feeling spread through her, and she could almost feel Alie beaming.

Clarke blew on a spoonful of broth and held it out for Madi. The little girl took it, then scrunched up her nose. Apparently she was on the same page as Jari about the taste. It didn't stop her from opening her mouth for another swallow though. They went through the broth quickly. Far faster than she'd hoped. But still, it was better than using up the jerky. Tomorrow she'd go out, set traps and see what there was around here. Jari'd had some success, so would she.

Tomorrow was soon enough to worry about food. For today, life was good.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone! Long time no chapter, sorry! Thanks for all the follows, favorites, and an extra thanks for the people who took time to leave a review, you always make my day! Anyone else extremely disappointed about Con-Geda? I literally never do stuff like that, and here it's the one I choose to buy a lunch spot and plane ticket for, and it gets canceled lol. Such is life.**

"No, no, please!"

Clarke bolted upright, her hand going to her knife. "Alie?" she asked out loud.

"I don't sense anything. It's possible it's a nightmare."

Clarke slid the knife back into its sheath and crawled over toward Jari, using the light from the embers of the fire to see where she was going.

"No!" Jarious thrashed around, then whimpered and grabbed his shoulder.

"Jari, Jari honey, it's okay." Clarke got to him and pulled him into a hug. He jerked for a second, sobbing. Wet warmth oozed onto her hand and she pulled it away from his arm to see it in the light of the fire. Black blood. Still fascinating, but now was not the time. "Jari, you need to wake up for a minute, kid. Then you can try to sleep again."

She crumpled up a piece of her shirt and ripped it off. It wasn't worth much at this point anyway. The bleeding stopped easily with a little pressure, and she tightened his bandages.

"It'll be okay. You'll see. Pretty soon the weather will change, and then we can head out to meet my people. You'll love my mom. And I know she'll love you. All of you. And then there's Bellamy, he'll pretend you're just a burden at first, but he's really a softy. And Raven. Monty, Harper, Octavia. You're going to have more aunts and uncles than you know what to do with." He settled in, mumbling something but going back into a deeper sleep.

All of her friends would love the kids. But what about the grounders? They'd have to keep it a secret that they were nightbloods, for as long as they could. They weren't going to treat them any different, just because their blood was a different color. She'd see to that, even if they had to leave everyone and live somewhere in the woods, just the four of them.

"Five," Alie said.

Yes, five. What would Roan think of them? Would he try to pressure her into letting Gaia have them?

She glanced at the other two. Madi was awake, watching everything going on with curious eyes. She held an arm out in that direction and the little girl hopped up to run over and snuggle in close. "Shhh…" Clarke said, holding a finger to her lips. Not that she wanted to discourage her from speaking, but Jari needed restful sleep. Hopefully whatever was going through his mind had faded, and he could get some real rest.

She ran a hand through the little girl's fine hair, picking at knots. "I'll be glad when we can all take baths," Clarke whispered to her. "I haven't cared too much until now, but we're all pretty stinky."

Madi wrinkled her nose at Clarke, like she agreed. Clarke laughed, keeping it quiet. She stood and moved away from Jari, taking Madi with her.

"Don't you wrinkle that nose at me, kiddo, you need a bath just as much as I do." She tickled Madi in the ribs for a second, just enough to get a smile big enough to see in the light of the dying fire. She sat her down and went over, adding a couple logs.

So far the beast hadn't been back, thankfully. There must have been another entrance to the caves, which wasn't surprising considering they hadn't explored much. Just because they hadn't seen anything indicating it was still around didn't mean she'd be taking any chances. The fire would burn brightly at all times, even if that meant she wouldn't be getting much sleep.

Settling in by the wall, she pulled Madi close. It was late, though it had been a good day, and it didn't take long before the girl's eyes were drooping. Thom snored softly over by Jari, and for once a deep sense of peace filled Clarke. They could do this. They really could.

The past day, week, or even month had worn her out. She soon drifted off right after Madi.

A strange noise echoed through the cave. A whimper, almost, but not a human one. Clarke's eyes snapped open instantly, automatically assuming the worst.

" _Ah, what was that?"_ Clarke asked Alie.

"I have no idea." The AI was getting much better at admitting when she didn't know stuff. Which wasn't a comfort right now, it'd been much better if she'd known.

There, there it was again, but farther away. "It could be a great distance from here, Clarke," Alie said. "Caves like this make sounds do strange things. If I had an exact map of the cave system, I would be able to calculate a distance and approximate location, but I don't."

"Clarke!" Thom loud whispered from over by Jari. "I'm scared."

Well she couldn't lie to him and tell him there was nothing to be afraid of. She stood, taking the still sleeping Madi with her, and moved over to the boys. She settled in beside Thom against the cave wall. He was cuddled up next to her in a flash.

"What do you think that is?" he asked.

For this kid to wake up from a sound, it must have scared him pretty badly. Usually he didn't wake for anything. She was not good at this comfort thing. "Do you want to hear a story?"

"What kind of story?"

 _Good question. What kind of story do you tell a kid this age?_

" _A happy one. With a nice ending."_ All the stories she'd ever heard, plus some she hadn't, flickered through Clarke's brain, until Alie stopped at one. _"I've always enjoyed Beauty and the Beast."_

 _Me too._ She'd watched it on the Ark many times as a kid. She launched into the story, Alie filling in any gaps where she blanked on where the story went.

Though she came to find out, maybe bedtimes stories didn't work equally well for different kids. It wasn't long before Thom was drifting off to sleep, but Madi, who'd blinked awake when she'd started the story, was still staring her down.

"Do you like the story?" Clarke asked her, not expecting a response.

Madi nodded and smiled. "More," she said, her voice a little raspy.

The hot sting of tears hit Clarke's eyes. "Whatever you say."

It took three more stories, but eventually Madi drifted off. Clarke laid her next to Thom, and moved over by the fire. 5:23 am, her connection with Alie told her. Still dark out, but not for long. Whether she wanted to or not, today she was going to have to leave the cave and look for food. Their stores wouldn't last long, and it was impossible to tell when she'd actually be successful in finding anything. If. No, when.

Wait. "Do you think the meat from those things is edible?" Clarke asked.

Alie popped into existence beside her. "I don't know why it wouldn't be."

Gross. But if cooked, maybe… "What do I do about the kids? I can't drag Jari with me and be able to drag one of those things and him back at the same time. And he shouldn't be cold right now either, his body can't fight an illness at the same time it's trying to heal his injuries."

"My suggestion would be to carry him as far as you think is safe, then set Thom as watch to call us if we're needed. Madi should come with us."

The thought of leaving them with that thing still alive somewhere sickened her. But it coming back was only a possibility. Starving to death if they didn't get some more to eat, that was a fact. In the morning, she'd let Jari wake on his own. They'd have some of the not so great soup, and then they would figure it out. Just like they always did.


End file.
